"Heart" by Heart (1985)

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Filed Between: Isaac Hayes and the soundtrack from "Heavy Metal"

"I can't sell you what you don't want to buy."

Key Tracks Mega Hits:
If Looks Could Kill, What about Love, Never, These Dreams, Nothin' at All

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
None, really.  Nobody Home is too long and kind of average, but that's about it.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

Heart has always had a very unique talent (aside from Ann's monster of a voice and Nancy's monster guitar playing) - they are experts at blending a hard rock mentality with top forty sensibilities.  On "Heart," they update their classic rock sound for the hair metal generation.  The results are outstanding.

Just look at the list of hits this LP produced.  Odds are, if you have ever been a fan of pop music, you like more than one of those songs.  What about Love can hold its own against pretty much any other power ballad.  If Looks Could Kill rocks, plain and simple.  Oh yeah, and there's also These Dreams.  And Never.  And... you get the idea.

And you can hear it in the sound.  That attitude is stitched throughout all of "Heart."  They were swinging for the fences with this one and it paid off.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  There is a clear agenda here.

Up next, we stay in the mid-eighties pop rock zone with "Centerfield" by John Fogerty.

"Talking Book" by Stevie Wonder (1972)

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Filed between: Edgar Winter and Frankie Yankovic

"Keep me in a daydream.  Keep me going strong."

Key Track:
Superstition

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
You and I (We Can Conquer the World), You've Got It Bad Girl, Lookin' for Another Pure Love

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Above Average (2.5/4 stars)

There are two very distinct Stevie Wonders present on "Talking Book."  In fact, they seem to be the two Stevie Wonders who appear on every LP he's done since "Signed Sealed & Delivered."  But it's really obvious here.

One is the make-your-hips-swing-low funkmaster organist who puts your booty in a stranglehold and won't let go.  Whenever somebody asks me what funk sounds like, I play Superstition for them.  Even now, when it comes on during those lame beer commercials, I know I'll be bobbing my head for the next thirty seconds.  That Stevie Wonder rules.

The other Stevie Wonder?  Not so much.  It's the schmaltzy, schlocky pop balladeer who cuts songs that are instantaneously dated the moment they're made; It's the Stevie Wonder who writes lyrics like "where is my spirit?  I'm nowhere near it;" it's the Stevie Wonder who uses the bossa nova beat on the drum machine.

That's right, I'm talking about You Are the Sunshine of My Life.  Okay, we better slow down a bit.  Before you get all hot and bothered about me dissing that song, remind yourself of the nostalgia filter.  And then, go back and relisten to it - try to do so without thinking of a velvet airport lounge circa 1975.  Pay attention to the lyrics - note how they sound like a high school freshman's love poetry.  I'm not saying the song is without merit, I'm just saying it gets kind of... ugh.

And I will concede that there is sometimes a third Stevie Wonder - the jazz homage guy whose song quality varies wildly.

In "High Fidelity," Jack Black's character asks the following question specifically about Stevie Wonder: "Is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins?"  Personally, I don't think that's a fair question. 
I think Stevie Wonder was consistent throughout his career when it came to... ugh.  We just kept the nostalgia filter turned on and he stopped doing the funky stuff.

So, is it an album?  No.  Let's just leave it at that.

Up next, Heart's self-titled juggernaut of a comeback.

"Freeze-Frame" by J. Geils Band (1981)

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Filed between: Crystal Gayle and Genesis

Obtained via: an impulsive drive out of town on a sunny day

"She never had dreams so they never came true."

Key Tracks:Centerfold and Angel in Blue

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:I really want to like River Blindness, but it's just too uneven and too long to let me.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

"Freeze-Frame" is a good LP; it has a lot of merit.  However, I'm only going to talk about one song on the record, and I'll bet you already know which song it is.

Centerfold may be the most perfect pop song ever written.  It has about three different hooks that individually could have made the song a hit.  But it doesn't stop there.  There are certain, specific things that appear over and over in those songs that endure in EVERYBODY'S consciousness.  They have to do with an element of easy audience participation.  Any one of these elements can work, but Centerfold piles in as many as it can.  Please see the list below for reference (note that all of these things can be found in Centerfold):

• Somebody yelling something like "let's go!" or "come on!" or something ending with an exclamation point!
• Hand claps (or a percussive approximation of hand claps)
• A yell
• Whistling
• Some variation of repeated nonsense syllables, usually "la la" or "na na"
• Counting
• A catchy chorus that's easy to remember

That last one is important.  Natalie Merchant said that her goal when writing Kind and Generous was to have a chorus that people could sing along with the first time they heard the song - a chorus which ended up being a variation of "la la."  See?  I told you.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It's decidedly new wave in its sound and it's all written, produced and musically directed by the same individual (NOT J. Geils).

Up next, we listen to some other massive pop hits, but in a totally different genre.  It's "Talking Book" by Stevie Wonder.

"Seven Year Ache" by Rosanne Cash (1981)

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Filed Between: Johnny Cash and David Cassidy (Previously Reviewed)

"Heartaches are heroes when their pockets are full."

Key Tracks:
Rainin' (Keith Sykes), Seven Year Ache (Rosanne Cash), Only Human (Keith Sykes)

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
Blue Moon with Heartache (Rosanne Cash)

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

When Johnny Cash's daughter goes to cut a record, she starts with a big advantage and has a lot of favors she can call in.  And she does just that on "Seven Year Ache."

First of all, it's produced by Rodney Crowell. It absolutely drips with that Crowell sound which many people (myself included) really like and that worked so well for Emmylou Harris and Crowell himself.

And when she needs a harmonica on one track, she can just call up Willie Nelson's harp player to sit in.  And when she needs backup singers, she can enlist the likes of Ricky Skaggs, Vince Gill and Emmylou Harris.  Oh yeah, and she gets the legendary Booker T. Jones for her organist.

So the deck was pretty well stacked to begin with.  But what makes this record work is not the support crew; Rosanne Cash is what makes this record work.  She wrote the best (and best known) track on the LP.  That is no small task, considering that "Seven Year Ache" has songs by the likes of Keith Sykes, Merle Haggard, Tom Petty and Rodney Crowell. 

Also, her delivery is spot-on, so much so that it rises above her stellar backing singers - except for Emmylou Harris; that's a battle I have never heard anybody win.  (Seriously, if I could get Emmylou Harris to sing backup for me, I would just shut the hell up and let her do the song.) 

"Seven Year Ache" is proof that it doesn't matter how good the production is, true success always comes down to the person (or persons) doing the heavy lifting.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It hits on all the great top-40 country tropes of the time without ever sounding derivative.  "Seven Year Ache" always feels like it is on the leading rather than the trailing edge.

Up next, we stay in 1981 with "Freeze Frame" by The J. Geils Band.  Na na n-na na na!

"Parallel Lines" by Blondie (1978)

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Filed Between: Norman Blake and Blood, Sweat & Tears (Previously Reviewed)

Fun Fact: This is the best band ever fronted by a Playboy centerfold model.

Fun Fact #2: I didn't realize just how many songs I knew from this record.  I had forgotten that Sunday Girl and I'm Gonna Love You Too.  After hearing them for the first time in over thirty years, I remember just how much I like them.

"All I want is 20/20 vision, a total portrait with no omissions."

Key Tracks:
Hanging on the Telephone, Fade Away and Radiate, and Will Anything Happen? are really good.  Oh yeah, and I will declare unashamedly that I jumped up and started doing the hustle in my basement when Heart of Glass came on.  (Okay, it was actually closer to the electric slide.)

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
I Know but I Don't Know misses its goal of being an Iggy Pop song by miles.  It is also yet another instance of paying the price for replacing the lead singer with "some other dude in the band."  It happens to be the last track on the first side.  Just Go Away is the last track on the second side and it happens to be just as bad.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Blondie has always been a band that loves to genre-hop.  By the eighties, they would experiment with ska, rap and much more.  But in 1978, it was clear that they wanted to rock.  And rock they do.  While the building blocks of new wave are most definitely present on "Parallel Lines," there are also strong elements of theatrical arena rock.  This is a rather weird LP to say the least.

And along those lines... If I had no context for it, I would have sworn this was made in the mid-nineties.  It absolutely SOUNDS like the music that came out in the mid-nineties.  I guess I should say that the music that came out in the mid-nineties absolutely sounds like Blondie.  I have this vision of Gwen Stefani and that chick from Belly (and whoever wrote the songs for The Spice Girls) spinning "Parallel Lines" and furiously scribbling down notes.

So, is it an album?  No.  "Parallel Lines" rocks, but it still jumps all the hell over the place.  If you go listen to the key tracks, they sound like they were made by completely different bands.

Up next, we get back to the eighties' country chanteuse thing with "Seven Year Ache" by Rosanne Cash.

"Cimarron" by Emmylou Harris (1981)

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Filed Between: Bo Hansson and George Harrison

"In the making of records, I think over the years we've all gotten a little too technical - a little too hung up on getting things perfect - and we've lost the living room."-- Emmylou Harris

Key Tracks:
If I Needed You, Born to Run (NOT the Bruce Springsteen song), The Price You Pay (the Bruce Springsteen song)

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
There's really not a bad song on this LP, but Rose of Cimarron is definitely the least enjoyable.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

"Cimarron" is not one of Emmylou Harris' best outings.  For me, what's missing here is Rodney Crowell's songwriting.  However, even a less than stellar, Crowell-less EH release is way better than most everything else out there.  Her voice is the sound of that specific moment when a heart breaks.  To borrow and old saying, she could literally sing the phone book and I would listen.  HOW she says it is just as important as WHAT she says.

So, when you get her zeroing in on a great song by a legendary songwriter - like a Springsteen tune from "The River" - it is absolutely transcendent.  There's really not much on this Earth that's better.  (And, of course, it's the one song I couldn't find on youtube.  Stupid youtube.)

And "Cimarron" reminds us that, while lonesome is what Emmylou does best, she also does a LOT of other things better than pretty much everybody else.  Like duets.  She broke into the business by showing up Gram Parsons on his records.  Here, we get a Townes Van Zant cover done with Don Williams of all people.  But it works really well.  Oh yeah, and she knows how to throw down some honkytonk swagger too.  "Cimarron" is especially light in that department, but Born to Run (NOT the Springsteen song) lets you know that it's always an option.

Basically, how can you not love Emmylou Harris?  The only way I can figure is if you've never heard her. If that's the case, you're really missing out.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It's a country angel delivering an endless stream of sad songs that somehow make you smile.

Up next, we veer somewhere between punk and disco with "Parallel Lines" by Blondie.

"The Monkees" by The Monkees (1966)

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"There's just no percentage in remembering the past."

Key Tracks:
Take a Giant Step, Last Train to Clarksville and Sweet Young Thing

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
This Just Doesn't Seem to Be My Day and I'll Be True to You.  I wasn't feeling the Davey songs on this LP, except of course for his smartass interjections on Gonna Buy Me a Dog.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

When I sat down to listen to this record, I already had an idea of what I was going to write about.  Between the questionable "live-ness" of Kiss "Alive!" and the not-really-questionable lack of playing on their own records by The Monkees, it was going to be about "faking it."  I already had the argument lined out: I would defend "faking it" to the hilt; The Archies and Gorillaz would be my linch pins; I would stop just short of Milli Vanilli.  It was brilliant; you would have had absolutely agreed with me. 

But then somethiong happened...

As I was relistening to "The Monkees," I found myself singing Beatles' songs.  I know, I know, that comparison is as inevitable as it is engineered.  But I wasn't just reminded of Beatles' songs, I was actually hearing the melodies and the guitar sound smack in the heart of the The Monkees' tunes.  Here are some examples I noticed without even really trying:

I first picked up on it with Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day.  It sounds eerily like Another Girl.  Matter of fact, I kind of zoned out and started singing Another Girl without even realizing it.

Next came Papa Gene's Blues.  While not a dead on carbon copy (probably because it wasn't written by Boyce and Hart), it absolutely copped to the down-home attitude of the songs Ringo sang like Matchbox and Act Naturally.

Last Train to Clarksville - wait, no!  This is a signature Monkees' song, it's insanely catchy and laced with an uber-subtle anti-war message.  It also smacks heavily of Paperback Writer with that great guitar hook and high tenor countervocals.  Go listen to 'em both and see for yourself.

Let's Dance On on the other hand doesn't even try to pretend that it's not Twist and Shout.  (I know T&S is an Isley Brothers' song, but The Beatles totally remade it into their own thing.)

I'll Be True to You just wants to be an early Beatles' love song, it doesn't even care which one.

About the only thing that sounds at all original on that first LP is a tune Mike Nesmith co-wrote.  It's the acid
tripping, hillbilly freakout that is Sweet Young Thing.

So, The Monkees are Beatles knock-offs.  I realize I'm about forty-five years late on that astute observation.  I had just never realized just how MUCH like The Beatles they were trying to be.  The back of the LP even proclaims "Meet the Monkees" in a huge font.  That similarity waned with each successive release, but "The Monkees" doesn't stray from the equation.

What I find interesting about it is that the group was clearly conceived during the early days of Beatlemania, but the group wasn't assembled and the songs weren't recorded until the Fab Four's pre-psychedelic weird middle years.  That comes across like a smack in the face on "The Monkees."  It's got the harmonies and skiffle-tinged early bits, but it's also got the almost-looped oddness and bizarre detours into strange instrumentations.  "The Monkees" really is like "Revolver"-lite.  By the way, that's a pretty big compliment.

So, is it an album?  No.  While it's a compliment, it doesn't overrule the fact that there is nothing tying these songs together.  It just happens to be a compilation of the first dozen songs they recorded and released.

Up next, we get to hear a voice that could probably convince me to rob a liquor store.  Naked.  It's "Cimarron" by Emmylou Harris.

"Alive!" by Kiss (1975)

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Filed Between: B.B. King and The Knack

Fun Fact: My stance on the whole controversy surrounding how much of this LP was was recorded in a studio rather than live is this: who cares?!  It sounds the way it should and that's all that matters in my book.

I used to think you were either part of the Kiss Army or you hated the band and there was no middle ground.  These days I find myself part of that middle ground.  So, how did this seminal live recording pan out?

SIDE I:

Key Tracks: The one-two punch of Deuce and Strutter that get things going are among the best recordings Kiss has ever made.

Weakest Track: Got to Choose

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Kicks Off With: "you wanted the best, and you got it!"

Sounds Like: the bombastic announcement of their arrival that the band had been trying to achieve for years.  It's complete energy and swagger in a really good way.


SIDE II:

Key Track: Parasite chugs along to its own heavy groove.  (It's also the only Ace Frehley composition on the first disc.)

Weakest Track: Nothin' to Lose

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Kicks Off With: cowbell!

Sounds Like: a spotlight on the somewhat different approach taken by each of the primary songwriters.  This side features songs penned by Paul, Gene and Ace, and they all move in their own direction.


SIDE III:

Key Track: Watchin' You simply because it is the only track less than six minutes long.

Weakest Track: 100,000 Years because it is over twelve minutes long and has a really long, really lame drum solo.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Don't Bother.

Kicks Off With: a great guitar riff (but it's all downhill from there).

Sounds Like: the overblown, overcompensating self-indulgence and sometimes sketchy musicianship that immediately turn so many people away from this band.  For some reason, Side III always seems to be the low point of the double live recording.


SIDE IV:

Key Track: This version of Rock and Roll All Nite has become the archetypal Kiss song.

Weakest Track: This version of Rock Bottom never finds its footing for reasons I can't figure out.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Kicks Off With: the audience chanting the band's name.

Sounds Like: the encore (and then second encore), as we have come to expect from the double live recording.  This one is like a mini-greatest hits of the band's early years.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  Even if (for some astounding reason) you've never heard of Kiss, you know everything you need to know within a matter of seconds, at that momentum carries through all four sides.  Also, "Alive!" absolutely portrays the feel of being at a high-energy rock show, no matter where or how it was recorded.

Up next, we go back to the pre-fab four with the self-titled debut release from The Monkees.

"Feels So Right" by Alabama (1981)

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"That old flame might not be stronger, but it's been burning longer than any spark I might have started in your eyes."

Key Tracks:
Love in the First Degree, Hollywood, Old Flame, Woman Back Home

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

My parents love to tell the following story... When I was three, I went to church for the first time.  The Sunday school teacher asked the class if anyone had a verse or a song they would like to share.  At which point, I raised my hand and delivered a rousing chorus of Nick Glider's Hot Child in the City.

I don't remember that.

My earliest musical memories don't kick in until a few years later.  I was five when Love in the First Degree and Old Flame came out.  Those are among the first songs I can remember hearing on the radio when they were new - experiencing them for the first time at the same time as my parents.  I remember those songs specifically because of how much I liked them.

Obviously, I had no clue what they were about (love being compared to capital crime and the politics of exes), I just knew that I liked the way they made me feel and they were fun to sing along with.  Two decades later, I find myself returning to those simplistic criteria.

But what about the nostalgia filter?  How do those songs hold up when heard by much more sophisticated ears?  Well, they're still a lot of fun to sing along with.  And, to borrow a line from an Alabama song, that's close enough to perfect for me.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  This time they strike a perfect balance between pop and country.

Up next, we spin an LP I mentioned in my first ever entry for this blog.  Break out the face paint, it's "Alive!" by Kiss.

"The Raw & The Cooked" by Fine Young Cannibals (1988)

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Fun Fact: Don't Let it Get You Down is a pretty good homage to / ripoff of Prince

"Don't look back, it won't do no good."

Key Tracks:
She Drives Me Crazy, Good Thing, Don't Look Back

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
"The Raw & the Cooked" is yet another victim of closing-track-itis, where they tack on one track at the end that doesn't come close to the caliber of anything else on the record.  In this case, it's an unnecessary and neutered cover Ever Fall in Love as originally done (infinitely better) by The Buzzcocks.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

"The Raw & the Cooked" is one of those time capsule LPs - it's a perfect snapshot of a specific sound from a specific time.  If you're a music fan, even if you didn't know anything about this band or these songs, you coud probably still guess it's release date within a year or two.

The sound is that certain pop-soul blend exclusive to the late eighties.  It's smart, soulful and exactly the right kind of retro for the period.  It makes perfect sense that this album came out the year after "Dirty Dancing" and Never Gonna Give You Up were released.

Well, that's a big part of the sound, but it's not all of it.  What sets FYC apart is that they chose to meld that trend with heavy dolyps of thick electronic beats and splashes of early Brit-pop.  That combination makes for a rather unique sound in a pop act clearly shooting for the top forty.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  I'm kind of surprised to say so, considering that this LP was recorded over three years at various studios around the world (including the famous Paisley Park).  Fine Young Cannibals deserve great credit for clinging tenaciously to the rather unique sound they were trying to achieve and ultimately seeing it through.

Up next, we revisit country juggernaut Alabama again with "Feels So Right."

"Blood, Sweat & Tears" by Blood, Sweat & Tears (1968)

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Fun Fact: I got my entries out of order and wrote up what was supposed to be this Thursday's entry today and skipped Fine Young Cannibals.  My bad, but I'm not rewriting this now, so we'll just push FYC back one - no harm, no foul.

Filed bewteen: Blondie and The Blues Brothers

"Did you find a directing sign on the straight and narrow highway?"

Key Tracks Big Hits:
And When I Die, Spinning Wheel, You've Made Me So Very Happy

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
Once again, we run into that scenario of "hey, we've got a band member who is not the regular singer and doesn't usually write songs who wrote a song and we're going to let him sing it, even though it doesn't sound like anything else we do and isn't particularly good" - that song is Sometimes in Winter

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/4 stars) - this was hard to rate because there are things I really like and really dislike withing almost every song

I'm not much into modern jazz, which means I'm not that much into fusion rock either.  However, the name of the genre does include the word "rock," which means I'm into it at least a little bit.  Strangely enough though, the songs I enjoyed most were the ones that drifted toward psychedelic R&B, like More and More and You've Made Me So Very Happy.

But for the most part, it was songs I liked interrupted by odd detours or songs I didn't care for with interesting
snippets in the middle.

For example, I personally don't see the need to expand God Bless the Child into a long bebop jam number, but I also fully realize that is a matter of taste.  It turns out that my taste is latched firmly onto the original version sung by my favorite vocalist of all time, so that's the version I'm going to link to today.

And that's the really odd thing - "Blood, Sweat & Tears" is not without merit.  They've got some good ideas and seem to dig what they do.  I'm sure there's somebody out there who insists that their version of God Bless the Child is the only one worth hearing, and that's a valid argument from a certain point of view.  It's just not mine.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  Even though it left me kind of cold, "Blood, Sweat & Tears" delivers a complete package.

Up next, "The Raw & The Cooked" by Fine Young Cannibals.  I promise.

"Dream Police" by Cheap Trick (1979)

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Filed between: Ray Charles and Cheech & Chong

"You didn't know what you were looking for until you heard the voices in your ear."

Key Tracks:
Dream Police is a shining example of Cheap Trick's obstinate weirdness.  Gonna Raise Hell finds them locking onto a target and then absolutely decimating it.

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
I'll Be with You Tonight is dull, monotonous and uninspired.  And once again, I'm at odds with the band or the label on this call because IBWYT is the lead track on the B-side.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

I used to HATE Cheap Trick.  I thought they were opportunists of the lowest order, cashing in on every genre that dared rear its head into popularity.  You want arena rock?  Here's I Want You to Want Me.  You want punk?  Here's Surrender.  You want a hair metal power ballad?  Here's The Flame.

But then I listened deeper into their catalogue and realized that, instead of being opportunists, they just have a very eclectic sensibility  and a very, VERY wry sense of irony.  Almost everything they do, they do with tongue inserted firmly into cheek.  Cheap Trick has way more in common with Tenacious D than they do Foreigner.  I guess they fall somewhere between Alice Cooper and Queen.

And "Dream Police" proves that to be true.  It goes out of its way to wallow in its own quirkiness and heaviness and uniqueness.  All in all, that plays that out in a pretty good way.

So, is it an album?  No.  I don't want to fault them for being eclectic, but I couldn't find any sort of trajectory or arc for this combination of tracks.  This is another one of those cases where it's a lot of fun, but it's not an album.

Up next, we leapfrog into 1988 with "The Raw & the Cooked" by Fine Young Cannibals.

"Dregs of the Earth" by Dixie Dregs (1980)

Fun Fact: That is some freaky-ass cover art

Fun Fact #2: ...and it is totally misleading

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Filed between: Dire Straits and Doctor Hook & The Medicine Show

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/4 stars).  It's sad, there are some really good hooks and some true musicianship in "Dregs of the Earth," but most of the tracks aren't innovative or interesting enough to stand alone as instrumental pieces.  Several of the the songs could have really benefited from even mediocre lyrics and vocals.

Songs that Could Have Really Benefited from Even Mediocre Lyrics and Vocals:
Road Expense, Hereafter, Broad Street Strut

Key Track:
I'm Freaking Out isn't my favorite track, but it does prove the Dregs have the ability to do a song that doesn't have any need (or even any room) for vocals.

My Favorite Track:
Pride o' the Farm does a good job of swapping off the solos among the guitar, keys and fiddle and always keeps you interested.  To me, that's the key factor for any instrumental that's not ambient or house.

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
Twiggs Approved and The Great Spectacular both fall flat on their faces when it comes to being interesting.

So, is it an album?  No.  It turns out that instrumental pieces are much harder to gauge, but I'm going with "no" on this one.  While each song is clearly a composition, there's nothing among all of the tracks that ties them together in any way, shape or form.

Up next, we continue our recent exploration of the music scene circa 1978 with "Dream Police" by Cheap Trick.

"Stardust" by Willie Nelson (1978)

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Filed Between: Ricky Nelson and New Edition

My Favorite Tracks:
At this point, pretty much every song on this LP has been covered numerous times.  That being said, Willie's renditions of these particular songs are my favorites of anybody's:

• Georgia on My Mind (Okay, this one's actually a tie with Ray Charles)
• All of Me (This is the version I hear whenever anybody else's version is playing)
• Don't Get around Much Anymore (This one song seemed to influence Willie's career for decades to come; don't believe me, go check out "Milk Cow Blues")

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
REQUIRED LISTENING (4/4).  Seriously, if you haven't heard every song on this record, you owe it to yourself to check them out.

I have mentioned before that Willie Nelson is the country music equivalent of The Beatles.  Today's entry bares that out again.  Like The Beatles, Nelson never seemed content to retread the same ground.  And, like The Beatles, he was in a rather unique position to basically try anything he wanted.

Turns out, he decided he wanted to try standards.  Nowadays, this is a common thing.  Rod Stewart has revitalized his career for the umpteenth tim by doing so; country megastars like George Strait and Garth Brooks seemed contractually obligated to record one every now and then.  But in 1978, this was a radical and risky idea.

And not just in the world of country.  Aside from Ray Charles and torch singers, names like Hoagy Carmichael had been irrelevant to the landscape of popular music for almost fifty years.  Standards were left to the jazz guys.  Country, rock and even R&B had instead latched onto and canonized the bluesmen from that era; Robert Johnson was king of the twenties in 1978.

But then Willie Nelson brought standards back in a big way, and the effect was immediate.  Turns out, people wanted to hear these kinds of songs, especially when they were interepreted by one of the best translators out there.  Much like "Red Headed Stranger," "Stardust" shouldn't have worked - a country superstar going quiet and jazzy on tunes that were big with the flapper generation.  But that's why he's Willie Nelson.

Each time you hear that masterfully understated delivery, you can't help but think that this is the perfect song for Willie Nelson and, of course he HAD to pick it.  That happens over and over again on "Stardust."

Even if (for some strange reason) you don't like the songs on "Stardust," you should appreciate it for it's innovation because the odds are very strong that there's something out there you do like that might not have existed if it hadn't been for this record.  (By the way, I say the same thing to people about The Beatles all the time.)

So, is it an album?  Yes.  I think a fair argument could even be made that this is actually a theme album - it's very single-minded in the best possible way.

Up next, we stay in jazzland with "Dregs of the Earth" by Dixie Dregs.

"Flame Thrower" by Wildfire (1977)

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[To the tune of My Old Kentucky Home]

"Oh let the sun shine bright on my happy summer home."

Filed Between: The Who and Hank Williams

Key Tracks:

Umm...

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:

Umm...

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:

Don't bother.  Seriously, don't bother.

Today's word is: chicanery.

When you have a band called Wildfire with an LP called "Flame Thrower," and a woman on the cover dressed in aluminum foil and wielding a fiery caulking gun, there are certain expectations.  Granted, those expectations are very low, but they are also kinda specific.

"Flame Thrower" delivers exquisitely on those expectations for exactly a song and a half.  The first six minutes sound just like I had hoped they would - a wonderfully terrible epic fail; it's a cheap, swap meet knockoff of Kiss, sort of.  The lead track blends cheesy seventies guitar, disco strings (synthesized, of course) and a bassline that can only be described as "jug band."

But then it gets weird.

Wildfire slips a gear and lurches mid-song from a hard rock band to an even more terrible version of Supertramp.  And that's where it seems like they're most content; it also seems to define their "sound." (I use that term very loosely.)  Until...

They start doing beach songs.  Not good beach songs like The Beach Boys or Dick Dale.  Oh no, it's really bad beach songs like you would hear in a drive-in B-movie beach flick that didn't even have Frankie Avalon.  So, it becomes clear that Wildfire was just born in the wrong era.  Until...

They start sounding conspicuously like T-Rex.  To be fair, this is when they sound the least like an absolute train wreck and are almost listenable.  Until...

They get to the sitar-driven, soft-rock, folkie love song.  And that was all on side one!!!  This is the point where I just gave up and did laundry while the B-side played.

So, is it an album?  No.  Observe as I go all seventh grade on this one.  "Flame Thrower?"  It's more like "Lame Thrower."  Zing!

Up next, further proof that Willie Nelson is the greatest visionary country music have ever known as we listen to one of his biggest gambles (and biggest payoffs) - "Stardust."

"Burnin' Sky" by Bad Company (1977)

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Key Tracks:
Burnin' Sky was the only single and it's very clear why.

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
Too many to count, but we'll cover a few of them as we go along.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Don't bother.  Seriously, don't bother.

"Burnin' Sky" is exactly what running out of steam and ideas sounds like.  It seems to get everything wrong that it possibly can - dull music, tepid lyrics, and half-hearted and half-witted sonic experimenation gone awry.  Even the crappy cover art is about as unispired as you can get; I don't know if you can see it in the picture, but Paul Rodgers is wearing a karate top with blue jeans.  Yessir he is.

I honestly think the musicians forgot they were there and just sloppily jammed around.  Then Paul Rodgers said to himself, "hey that sounds kinda like [insert classic rock radio staple here], I think I'll sing it in that style."  That's a shame, because Rodgers has a cannon of a voice, but he squanders it here by poorly aping other singular vocalists of the period.  And the truth is, there is only one Robert Plant (Everything I Need).  There is also only one Steven Tyler (Heartbeat).  Oh yeah, and there's also only one Paul McCartney (Man Needs Woman).

But I have overlooked the worst track on the LP.  Morning Sun sounds Creed spliced in with that cheesy "world music" you hear on the Weather Channel.  Yessir it does.

And just as a closing note, the random outtake of The Happy Wanderer doesn't help anything at all.  Nosir it does not.

So, is it an album?  No.  This is an example of clearly throwing an LP together to support a single.

Up next, we something called "Flame Thrower" by somebody called Wildfire.  I got no clue 'bout this one, but the cover art looks like the poster for a seventies sci-fi sexploitation flick.

"Pelican West" by Haircut One Hundred (1982)

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"Let's go to Norway, live in rain and snow and get totally depressed about nothing at all."
Key Tracks:
Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl) and Baked Bean

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:Marine Boy strays too far into seventies soft rock and there are just too many competing ideas.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

I had never heard anything by Haircut One Hundred before last night.  It turned out to be a really fun surprise.

"Pelican West" does exactly what you want good new wave music to do: it borrows heavily from fringier genres and repackages them into a pop-friendly sound with lots of melody.  And this LP is squarely in that zone.

Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl) clearly influenced Duran Duran.  In fact, if I had heard this on the radio, I would have thought it was one of their songs.  And Milk Film would have fit in just fine on "Murmur."

But then you also get those other genre elements.  If you like eighties sax (and who doesn't?  Oh yeah, ME whenever it involves George Thorogood...) then this is the record for you.  There are also some great funk tinges.  And sometimes it's more than a tinge.  Calling Captain Autumn is a pretty good Ohio Players impression.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It's tight and it's driven.

Up next, we delve back into bombastic classic rock with "Burnin' Sky" by Bad Company.

"The Early Beatles" by The Beatles (1965)

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Filed between: The Beach Boys and (ugh) The Bells

Obtained via: CHICKEN COOP!!!

Reporter: "How did you find America?"
John: "Turned left at Greenland."-- from the film "A Hard Day's Night"

Key Tracks:
Love Me Do, Twist and Shout, Anna (Go to Him), Please Please Me, P.S. I Love You, Baby It's You, Do You Want to Know a Secret

My Overall Rating of the tracks separately:
HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

There are literally hundreds of conversations to be had regarding the group that I will staunchly defend as the most influential entitiy in the history of popular music.  But with this LP and this blog, one in particular seems glaringly appropriate.

Let's call it zeitgeist.

I didn't grow up in the sixties; I grew up in the CD age.  For me, the entire Beatles' catalogue (almost, I did grow up pre-"Anthology") was neatly sorted and available on a set of fourteen or so discs which I happily collected and enjoyed.  I was content knowing that all I really didn't have access to was a set of white vinyl discs and cover art with meat and baby dolls that apparently outraged lots of people.

But then I got into vinyl.  Any recordphile can tell you two things: (1) originals (and even reprints) of anything Beatles on vinyl gets costly real quick and (2) there are waaaaay more Beatles' LPs out there than you would have ever guessed.  "The Early Beatles" is a great case in point.  It is one of the most unadulterated bait-and-switches I have ever seen.  It's basically a reissue of their previous LP "Please Please Me" in a different order and with fewer songs.  By the way, one of the songs NOT present on "The Early Beatles" is I Saw Her Standing There.  Why?!

And yet, "The Early Beatles" charted higher and sold more copies than many of the LPs I have reviewed previously.  Again I ask, why?!  The answer is simple - zeitgeist.  This came in out in 1965 when Beatlemania was at its apex.  My guess is that kids were in the store and saw an unfamiliar Beatles' cover and just snatched it up.  And man, were there a lot to keep up with.  Half of my Beatles' records are compilations that don't exist in CD format and that I had never heard of until I stumbled across them.

That's what began putting it into perspective for me.  Even with all the crazy stuff they do nowadays with reissues and special editions and iTunes exclusive tracks and whatnot, it doesn't come close to The Beatles' merchandise available in 1965.  It's still hard for me to wrap my head around it all.  But then, I just go listen to that bitchin' harmonica on Love Me Do and remember that there are more important things to consider - things that make me smile really wide.

So is it an album?  That doesn't seem like a fair question, seeing as how I broke the rules when I played this one, so I'm not going to count it.

Up next, "Pelican West" by Haircut One Hundred.

"Baby I'm-A Want You" by Bread (1972)

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"Here I am on my hands and knees, struggling in my dungarees."

Filed between: Boston and Shirley Brown

Key Tracks:
Everything I Own and Diary (with each owing a heavy debt to the nostalgia filter)

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
There are several to choose from, but I think the worst two have to be This Isn't What the Governmeant (get it?) and the (hopefully) parodic vocal stylings of I Don't Love You

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/4 stars)

I was really curious to see how I would rate this entry.  I really liked Bread when I was in middle school, but I have drifted away from this type of music over the years.  It threw me for an immediate curveball when the first sound after the needle dropped was a distorted guitar churning out power chords.  Mother Freedom isn't a great song, but hey, at least it's an effort.

And that seemed to be the trend for pretty much all of "Baby I'm-A Want You."  Bread's take on trying to write Beatles' songs is a fair aim, they just don't have a lot in the way of creativity.  So, the result is a decent endeavor but ultimately forgettable for the most part.

Except, of course, for that wonky nostalgia filter.  "Hokey" doesn't begin to describe songs like Diary where the narrator thinks the girl he loves wants to marry him, but then in a turn of dramatic irony finds out that she was actually writing about some other dude.  And so, our intrepid narrator happily wishes her well.  Like I said...  But none of that matters.  What matters is that this song seemed like some deep shit to an eleven year old.  "The Best of Bread" was one of the first CDs our family got, and I used to spend hours listening to it and America's "History" in our living room and just soaking it all in.

So, is it an album?  No.  The nostalgia filter only goes so far.

Up next, something that completely breaks the ground rules I established for this project; it's pre-1965 AND it's a complilation.  But I don't care, I'm spinning it anyway.  It's "The Early Beatles."  The Beatles!!!

"Mistaken Identity" by Kim Carnes (1981)

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Fun Fact: I hate it when the LP title is strangely prophetic...

Filed Between: The Byrds and The Cars

"You got no fashion, but you sure got style."

Key Tracks:
Bette Davis Eyes - I remember when that song came out, I had no idea who Bette Davis was, but I knew someday I wanted to find a woman with Bette Davis eyes and a Kim Carnes voice.  Still Hold On furthers this lust.

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
There are several, but the worst offender has to be Draw of the Cards.  It shoots for new wave (for unapparent reason), but it sounds like some middle age dude's  attempt to make a song like "that stuff all the weird kids are listening to."  It is uninspired, undeveloped and uninformed.  But what do I know, it was also the follow-up single to Bette Davis Eyes.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/4 stars)

Let's be honest,  EVERYBODY bought "Mistaken Identity" solely because of Bette Davis Eyes, and whole lot of people bought it.  But when you listen to it thirty years removed, you notice that while the synths are cheesy and the melody is forgetable, that smoky, husky voice and the strange way it modulates establish something very special.

Unfortunately, most of the other songs on the LP are confused and reductive.  "Mistaken Identy" smacks of missed opportunities, over and over again.

I place the blame on producer Val Garay.  Without a dedicated songwriter, he should have spent more time culling songs that better suited Carnes' quirky, sultry voice.  Still Hold On seems to be the only track that absolutely captures her full potential. 

Furthermore, the normal expectation of a single producer (excepting George Martin) is a more cohesive sound.  Instead, "Mistaken Identity" is all over the place.

And just as a footnote, synthesizers and mandolins don't mix.

But what do I know?  "Mistaken Identity" and Garay got nominated for an "album of the year" Grammy.  Stupid Grammys.  But that's a whole other blog somewhere down the road...

So, is it an album?  No.  No it is not, despite what The Grammys may lead you to believe.

Up next, we continue circling in the fifth ring of hell that is soft rock with "Baby I'm-a Want You" by Bread.

"Stay Awhile" by The Bells (1971)

Fun Fact: This wins my vote for the worst album cover yet on Revisiting Vinyl
Fun Fact 2: It also got released so much it had two different titles (or maybe it was changed out of shame...)

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"Into my room he creeps without making a sound."
That stalkery lyric is from a tender love song.  No, really, it is.

Filed between: The Beatles and Pat Benetar (Come on, one number either way!)

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Don't bother.  Seriously, don't bother.

Key Tracks:
I didn't like any of the songs on "Stay Awhile" by The Bells, so I'm linking to a really good song by Archie Bell & The Drells instead.

When the zeitgeist of a certain musical genre gets in full swing, bands come out of the woodwork.  They're either people who want to do what everybody else is doing or people who were already doing it, just not particularly well.  I don't know which kind The Bells were when poppy folk rock hit, but then, it doesn't really matter.

Truth is, they don't do poppy folk rock very well.  Harsher truth is, they sound a lot like The Carpenters, only more anorexic.

However, the B-side of "Stay Awhile" is all covers and The Bells excel at covers of songs like Proud Mary and Maxwell's Silver Hammer.  By the way, those hyperlinks are  to the originals because what The Bells excel at is making really great songs wonder what happened to their testicles.  Seriously, this version of Proud Mary sounds like a Will Ferrell / Ana Gasteyer skit on SNL.  Maxwell's Silver Hammer just sounds like twee crap sung by drunk muppets.

The Bells do make me feel an emotion I never thought possible - sympathy for Jose Feliciano.  Seriously, it's one thing to massacre your own malformed children, but what Jose Feliciano and Rain ever do to you?!

I was almost through this turd and had chalked it up to an innocent waste of time, but then the last track played and my jaw hit the floor.  Not only do The Bells cover Cliff Richard's Sing a Song of Freedom, they feel the need to add their own incredibly racist verse.  How racist can The Carpenters-lite get, you ask?  Well, it starts with the line "Hey there, Mister Black Man," and I'm not comfortable writing any more of it.  Holy Shit.

So, is it an album?  No.  Sadly, it looks like this may be the closest I get to a Beatles review in this blog.  Curse you, random number generator!!!

Double curse you random number generator!!!  Up next, we get to hear a really good song.  Too bad it's on an lame LP, not a 45.  The song is Bette Davis Eyes; the record is "Mistaken Identity" by Kim Carnes.

"Madman across the Water" by Elton John (1971)

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"The words she knows, the tune she hums."

Key Tracks: Tiny Dancer, Levon and Indian Sunset are all well worth rehearing (or checking out for the first time)

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

In my opinion, "Almost Famous" ties for the best movie ever about the undying love some of us have for music.  (The other is "High Fidelity.")  My favorite scene in "Almost Famous" hinges on the lead track to "Madman across the Water."  You can CLICK HERE to view it.  If you're not a clicker, I'll break it down for you.  A group of people who just went through an incredibly stressful and devisive series of events reconnect through the song Tiny Dancer.  It is brillant and kicks you square in the chest and pretty much sums up the entire move in under two and a half minutes.  It speaks to the way way that music cuts across every presumption and prejudice we may have and unites us as human beings.  Yeah, I'm going there.  I know it sounds immensely hammy, but I deeply believe this to be a rare (if not the only) absolute truth.

If that's too heady for you, CLICK HERE to see a hilarious scene from the sitcom "Friends" involving a misinterpretation of Tiny Dancer's lyrics.

Like Paul McCartney, Elton John is an expert at discorvering universal melodies - those tunes that you can't help but latch on to and hum along with the first time you hear them.  That is powerful mojo.  To produce something that is instantly hooky and alluring should be the goal of all pop art.  To do it repeatedly seems to consistently take an Englishman with a piano.

But also like Paul McCartney, Elton John finds these hooks by being immensely prolific.  "Madman across the Water" came out during the E.J. onslaught of 1970-1974 that usually saw at least two new LPs each year.  I will say that "Madman" lands on the high end of that spectrum.  It's much more cohesive and self-aware than some of Elton's other output during the time.  (CLICK HERE to see my review of "Don't Shoot Me, I'm only the Piano Player.")

So, is it an album?  Yes.  On "Madman across the Water," Bernie Taupin seems to be fixated with painting complicated pictures, and his acumen for characterization has never been sharper.  And both the lyricist and the scorer are particularly vulnerable this time around, which makes for a much heavier trip.

Up next, "Stay Awhile" by The Bells.

"Back Home Again" by John Denver (1974)

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Filed between: Deep Purple and Derek & The Dominos

Key Tracks:
Thank God I'm a Country Boy, Cool an' Green an' Shady (there's a clarinet!), Eclipse - seriously, find four minutes of quiet time and listen to Eclipse.

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
It's up to You is a fair song, but it sticks out like a sore thumb in the context of everything else.  Sweet Surrender is a an empty, tedious song that plays and then repeats itself in toto.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Above Average (2.5/4 stars)

"Sometimes it takes forever for the day to end; sometimes it takes a lifetime."

John Denver gets a bad rap.  Along with Dee Snider and Frank Zappa, he is responsible for keeping government oversight out of a musician's artistic license.  But people never talk about that.  People always talk about the over-emotive quality of his songs.  Granted, he did some cheesy, hokey garbage, but he also made some really good music as well.

I'll demonstrate.  Let's compare and contrast two of the better known songs on "Back Home Again" - Annie's Song and Thank God I'm a Country Boy.

Annie's Song is a dilletante folkie's wet dream - simplistic and spare lyrics, a slight wavering tremelo in the voice, thick orchestration, the list goes on and on - none of it good.  I remember hearing snippets of this song when I was a kid and commercials would roll for an LP of John Denver's greatest hits.  "It has all the classics you love... Take Me Home (Country Roads), Rocky Mountain High and, of course, Annie's Song."  Even as a kid I knew I didn't like that song; hearing it made me want to punch that dude with the glasses and the pageboy haircut in the face.

And then I grew up.  More or less.  But I still don't care for that song.

On the other hand, Thank God I'm a Country Boy became a song I really like, but it took a very long time.  My introduction to it was sixth grade music class.  That song was never intended to be performed by a roomful of tone-deaf, indentured servants accompanied by a waaaaay too showtunesish piano.  I will allow that the original has an overwhelming "aw shucks" attitude to it, but when you look at a lot of other homespun favorites, you realize that's part of the schtick.  TGIACB should be americana canon, not something you're forced to sing in middle school chorus.

I know, I know.  John Denver didn't write TGIACB.  However, he did write Eclipse, which contains the quote at the top of this entry.  I think that's a really good line.  I like that line a lot.  I like that song a lot and I'm not ashamed to say it.  I wish more people felt the same way.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  Except for It's up to You, "Back Home Again" feels like you're sitting around a roaring hearth fire on a winter night with J.D. and his buddies picking for everyone's entertainment.

Up next we give Van Halen a run for their money in the "again?" category as we spin our third entry from Elton John.  This time around it's "Madman across the Water."

"Face the Music" by Electric Light Orchestra (1975)

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Filed between: Sheena Easton and The Fat Boys

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
REQUIRED LISTENING (4/4).  Seriously, if you haven't heard every track on this record, you owe it to yourself to check them out.

My Favorite Tracks:
Waterfall, Evil Woman, Poker, Strange Magic, One Summer Dream

"Oh, what a strange magic."

Jeff Lynne is one weird dude.  The cover art for this upbeat pop LP features an electric chair.  His band had two separate cellists.  The liner notes include statements like "The band on this track have since grown a third eyebrow."  He has the gall to slam prog unabashedly and full-throttle into disco.  "Face the Music" includes both the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's "Messiah" and a few rounds of of Dixie.  Like I said, Jeff Lynne is one weird dude.

And he is a freaking genius.

I do not make this next statement lightly.  I honsestly believe that "Face the Music" is probably the best equivalent of "The White Album" that the seventies had to offer.

It's so informedly diverse in its sound that you can't wait to hear what's coming next.  And then you want to listen to it all again to try and figure out how he pulled it off.  It's like some kind of sonic sleight of hand.  You know it just can't exist in the way you experienced it because that would be a logical impossibility.  But at the same time, you have no idea how it was done.  And the great thing is, it's fascinating sensation rather than an infuriating one.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  "Face the Music" captivates you due to (rather than in spite of) the fact that it mashes so much together and careens off in totally unexpected directions because it always feels like it's exactly where that weird, brilliant Jeff Lynne intended to go.  Lucky for us, we get to go there with him.

Up next, we amble back into folk with "Back Home Again" by John Denver.

"I Don't Believe You've Met My Baby" by The Louvin Brothers (1976)

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Filed between: Lobo and The Lovin' Spoonful

Key Tracks: I Don't Believe You've Met My Baby and Knoxville Girl

 

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Above Average (2.5/4) stars

 

The Louvin Brothers were a classic country act with heavy folk tendencies.  That being said, they also always toed the line Bill Monroe established when he created bluegrass music - they just did it in a more mainstream way.  In fact, by the time 1976's "I Don't Believe You've Met My Baby" came out, newgrass was kicking into high gear and Louvin staples such as drums and piano were becoming accepted in the highly stylized, self-limiting genre of bluegrass.  Personally, I consider this effort a bluegrass work much more than a country work when you compare it to contemporary examples of both.

 

And when it comes to bluegrass, there not a genre more insistently insular and "this is our thing, stay out" than bluegrass.  My friend Travis calls it the punk of country music.  I think that's the perfect analogy.  Despite this, there are hundreds of tropes to the genre.  "I Don't Believe You've Met My Baby" captures several of the hallmarks:

• Dramatic irony
• Murder (specifically, murder by a man named Willie who kills his girlfriend and then kills her again in another way and then chucks the body somewhere - sometimes he gets caught, sometimes he feels bad)
• Lots of waltzes
• Wallowing, lovelorn misery
• Witty turns of phrases
• High, nasal tenor vocals
• Tight, tight harmonies
• Really short songs
• Solos by several instruments in succession
• Illumination of the mandolin
• An "I'm sorry" song
• A "you'll be sorry" song
• Use of the adjective silver and/or gold
• Hyperbole
• The appearance of the word "lonesome" (or "lonely) numerous times

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It's tight and cohesive.  It's not very imaginitive when it comes to subject matter, but that seems to work in its favor here.

 

Up next, an record from a similar time, but an altogether different world.  It's "Face the Music" by Electric Light Orchestra.

"As Far as Siam" by Red Rider (1981)

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Filed between: Otis Redding and Lou Reed

Key Tracks: Lunatic Fringe, Only Game in Town, What Have You Got to Do (To Get Off Tonight)

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:Thru the Curtain, Caught in the Middle, Don't Let Go of Me

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Above Average (2.5/4 stars)

Tom Cochrane has the dubious, paradoxical honor of being a one-hit wonder twice.  During his very underrated solo career, he scored a massive hit with Life Is a Highway.  Years prior, his band Red Rider had a single hit with Lunatic Fringe.  Red Rider's career was not underrated whatsoever.

"As Far as Siam" certainly gets credit for balance though.  Of the nine tracks, there are three really good songs, three middle of the road songs and three terrible songs.  Unfortunately, that's about the only place it finds balance.  The songs careen wildly from (often misguided) swaggering machismo to "River" era Springsteen knockoffs.  Interestingly, Red Rider succeeds and misses equally with either category.

Musically, I would rank them at a seven out of ten on the Loverboy scale.  That means they sound pretty much the same as Loverboy, only not quite as creative with the sound.  If you've heard Working for the Weekend, then you know what "As Far as Siam" sounds like.  If you haven't heard Working for the Weekend, why are you reading this blog?  Oh wait, there is the one exception.  Like every other early eighties rock band with a syth, there has to be one song that apes The Police as closely as possible.  Here, it's Laughing Man - decent fun, but ultimately harmless.

So, is it an album?  No.  It's angst turning in weird ways and glimmers of a great singer-songwriter to come.

Up next, we take in an entirely different direction with "I Don't Believe You've Met My Baby" by The Louvin Brothers.

"From the Inside" by Alice Cooper (1978)

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Filed between: The Commodores and Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose

Obtained via: reward for helping a friend sort through a collection he inherited

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

The previously reviewed "Alice Cooper Goes to Hell" was released before he went into rehab.  "From the Inside" came after rehab.  All I can say is thank you, Betty Ford.  Alice drew from that experience and then enlisted Bernie Taupin to help him create what I consider to be his most cohesive concept album.

"From the Inside" is just that - it tells the stories of various inmates in an insane asylum, and it does it rather well.  The LP also does something else that shouldn't be unexpected, but still surprised me nonetheless.  Musically, it sounds a lot like Andrew Lloyd Webber; it's got a choir and piano and orchestration and precision electric guitar.  It really feels like the cast recording of some seventies Broadway musical.

And that makes this one of Alice's most unsettling works, because it still has the macabre, visceral lyrics he loves so well.  Those never seemed as bad when they were lurking with sleazy, filthy sounds.  However, when they're paired up with something cleaner, it makes them feel twice as dirty.

For example, How You Gonna See Me Now is a pretty standard power ballad about a man returning after a long absence.  However, within the context of the depravity from the other songs on the record, and the unspoken knowledge of where he must be returning from, the song takes on a strange sense of menace.

Key Tracks:
It basically depends on which stories you like the best.  For me, it was Wish I Were Born in Beverly Hills and For Veronica's Sake - the latter being about an inmate's concern for the pet he had to leave behind.  And then the closer, Inmates (We're All Crazy) which absolutely feels like the finale of a great rock opera.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  Matter of fact, it's a concept album.

Up next, we continue along the lunatic fringe with "As Far as Siam" by Red Rider.

"Point of Know Return" by Kansas (1977)

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Filed between: Judas Priest and KC & The Sunshine Band

Key Tracks Really Good Songs: Dust in the Wind

Pretty Good Songs: Point of Know Return, Lightning's Hand

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses: Portrait (He Knew), Nobody's Home

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Average (2/4 stars)

Eerily Telling Quote:
"I am patiently doing nothing in reverie... All these hot licks and rhetoric surely do you no harm."

I'm sure there are people out there who swear by the depth and color of "Point of Know Return" - but I'm not one of 'em.  It exemplifies the a major pitfall inherent to prog (and even more so in prog-pop).  Like Malcolm says in "Jurassic Park" - "Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean that you SHOULD." 

There's clearly a rich mythos behind "Point of Know Return," and it's got some really interesting elements to it.  Unfortunately, it feels like we're getting the least interesting stories (or the least interesting perspectives) from it.  It's Like if "Lord of the Rings" had only focused on the hobbits that never left The Shire.

And then there's the sound.  For the most part, the synths swallow everything else with a jaunty, sailing shanty grin.  That works really well for the first two tracks (especially the one about sailing of the edge of the world), but then it all changes...

After that, we move into a synth-heavy instrumental and then into Portrait (He Knew).  It keeps up the synth throughout the intro and bridge, but whenever there's a verse/chorus involved, it immediately slips into pure BTO-esque power rock.  The second-tier Christian rock lyrics don't help either.  Then they do it again on the next track - Closet Chronicles.  The do-over is monumentally unoriginal, but at least it yields a (comparitively) better song.

Then, Lightning's Hand is almost metal (if they allowed sailing shanties in metal).

Dust in the Wind (the track everybody remembers from "POKR") doesn't even try to pretend like it fits in with anything else on the LP.

So, is it an album?  No.  The concept for a good prog album was buried in there.  Kansas just dug in the wrong spot.

Up next, an artist I've already covered twice teams up with a songwriter I've already covered twice.  It's Alice Cooper with help from Bernie Taupin on "From the Inside."  Their scores are both one and one right now.  I'm curious to see what the tiebreaker yields...

"Flowers of Evil" by Mountain

Editor's Note: The vinyl cover is much less washed out

View the Premise & Ground Rules for Revisiting Vinyl

Filed between: Mott the Hoople and Michael Martin Murphy

Obtained via: mistakenly thinking this version of Mississippi Queen was the studio version (I call this one a happy accident)

Key Tracks: Flowers of Evil, Crossroader and (the NOT studio version of) Mississippi Queen

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

So, one side is a set of studio sessions and the other side is a couple of live songs.  How does that work out?  Pretty well actually...

Except for a live version of Mississippi Queen, this is a record lost to time as far as I know.  I'd never heard any of the tracks before (or even heard OF them, for that matter).  And that's a shame.  "Flowers of Evil" is a solid power-prog-psychedelic rock record with a few tunes that could have been classics.

The title track rails at Vietnam with a simultaneously humanistic and nihilistic spit of bile.  Much of the LP follows
suit.

Crossroader is thick, heavy and bluesy.  It's easily the best thing on "Flowers of Evil."

Side two is all live, and it's only two songs - a 25 minute jam and an even heavier version of Mountain's (sadly) only hit.  But it fits right in with the feel of what came before it.

Basically, if you like Cream, you should check out "Flowers of Evil."  It's a familiar sound in a package you probably haven't heard before.  Ahhh, the wheels of fate turn in mysterious ways.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  "Flowers of Evil" often folds back on itself with that thunderous, insistent guitar and lyrics detailing the futility and perserverence inherent to being alive.

Up next, we get even proggier (is that even a word?) with "Point of Know Return" (is that even a pun?) by Kansas.

"Tommy" by The Who (1969)

View the Premise & Ground Rules for Revisiting Vinyl.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Above Average (2.5/4).  Honestly, I would reccommend "Physical Graffiti" by Led Zeppelin, another double album by a band that went by almost exactly the same template and exectuted it phenomenonally better.  (NOTE: hipsters will vehemently disagree with that last comment.  SECOND NOTE: suck it, hipsters.)

Key Tracks:
The old blues cover of Eyesight to the Blind works really well.  Christmas is the most cohesive track on either LP.  Pinball Wizard is fantastic on its own; the whole "concept" actually cheapens it some.  The same goes for Sally Simpson.

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
John Entwistle contributed two tracks to "Tommy," and they both suck.  First is Cousin Kevin.  It's just dull and distracting.  The second is  part B to the far more disturbing, unnecessary and agendized Do You Think It's Alright/Fiddle About - a song that would reflect an isolated incident of incestuous, homoerotic masturbatory fantasy if it weren't reprised in a far more disturbing way in the climax on disc 4.  Keith Moon's contribution doesn't fare any better - Tommy's Holiday Camp is crap too.  And I'm not letting the mastermind behind "Tommy" off the hook either.  Townsend's Underture is ten minutes of wasted space, and he wrote the first half of Do You Think It's Alright/Fiddle About.

Really, the only difference between a concept album and a rock opera is one of two things: (1) an overture or (2) a stage production released prior to the LP.  "Tommy" gets props for #1.  But they still don't seem to get there.  "Tommy" is clearly a concept album, but it is content to leave gigantic gaps.  Let me explain...

Side one focuses on: setup, trauma, hopelessness and deceit.
It's a great premise/intro to a bottomless well of potential.  Unfortunately...

Side two focuses on: coping, family and maturation.
We COULD be headed somewhere interesting, but this seems like an irrellevant side trip...

Side three focuses on: action, outreach and connection.
Unfortunately, side three never earns it.  Tommy has a personality, but that's trampled beneath the treads of the fact that...

Side four focuses on: salvation, messianic overtones, fanaticism and evangilism.
Tommy is suddenly converted from deaf/dumb/blind to faith healer in an eleven second segue, and it never rings true.  It seems much more like a plot device to spiel a late-sixties agenda.

So, is it an album?  No.  Seriously, I'm gonna say that a "rock opera" / "concept album" is not an album?  You're damn straight.  Like I hinted to earlier, all four acts (sides) seem to happen independently of each other without any logical or emotional segue from one to the next to explain how we got to where we are now.  "Tommy" never delivers on a great premise; it never delivers on the unspoken promises it makes.  Sadly, this record affirms every misgiving I ever had about The Who.

My Top Three Rock Operas Ever: (Pretty Standard)
3. "Hair"
2. "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"
1. "Jesus Christ Superstar"

My Top Three Concept Albums Ever (not including theme albums): (A Little More Diverse)
3. "Red Headed Stranger" by Willie Nelson
2. "Year Zero" by Nine Inch Nails
1. "The Wall" by Pink Floyd

Up next, we blend the studio with the live again with "Flowers of Evil" by Mountain.