"Bridge over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel (1970)

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"Half of the time we're gone, but we don't know where."

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
REQUIRED LISTENING (4/4 stars): Seriously, if you haven't heard every track on this record, you owe it to yourself to check them out.

Key My Favorite Tracks:

• Somewhat ironically, the actual bridge ("Sail on silver girl...") of Bridge over Troubled Water is what really elevates the song.
• El Condor Pasa is Peruvian folk music at its finest.
• Cecilia is one of the first ever songs to use sampling, and it's almost impossible not to sing along to.
• So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright is the best song ever about an architect, but my friend Mike's tune Mies van der Rohe deserves a highly honorable mention.
• My estimation of Bob Dylan dropped several notches when I learned that he thought The Boxer was terrible.
• How did something as raw as The Only Living Boy in New York end up in a car commercial?!  I have fallen back on this song countless times - always due to some sort of loss - and it has never let me down.
• Just go listen to Song for the Asking.  I can't give you any clever reason.  Just do it - you'll be glad you did.  It summarizes "BOTW" in less than two minutes better than I could ever hope to do.

I have listened to "Bridge over Troubled Water" literally dozens of times.  Before I revisited it, I started making notes about how disjointed it is and how it can't hold a candle to "Bookends."  It was all very clever - and total bullshit.    Because this time around, something clicked, and all the songs coalesced into a feeling more than I had ever felt before with this record.  Maybe it's because it's been several years since I listened to "BOTW" and I have matured (somewhat); maybe it's because I just had an in-body experience; maybe it's because I finally paid it the attention it deserves.  I really can't answer the why.  All I can say is that I finally realize two things: (1) I'm an idiot for not grasping what it's saying sooner and (2) "Bookends" is clearly the "Songs of Innocence" to "BOTW"'s "Songs of Experience."

"BOTW" tries desperately to find the beauty, humor and (most importantly) the dignity in loss.  It's emblematic of the turmoil, not only of the times, but also of the musicians who had been together almost a dozen years and were about to go their separate ways.  Even the live cover of Bye Bye Love (which I had always thought was grossly out of place) speaks poignantly in the context of what's going on around it.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  My answer yesterday would have been "no."  Today, my answer is that it's an incredible theme album.

Up next, the debut from Bad Company titled "Bad Company," featuring their hit song Bad Company.

"It's Hard" by The Who (1982)

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My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Don't bother.  Seriously, don't bother.

"It's Hard" is a shining example of several "Don'ts" when it comes to music.

1. Don't try to sound hip. 
The moment you find yourself trying to, or even considering the the concept of hip, you aren't.  Even if you happen to be a seminal rock band that helped shape the landscape you're trying to play in, you're still old after a certain point.  And old is never hip.  The cover artwork for 1982's "It's Hard" features a boy playing an arcade game and The Who standing around deliberately trying to look cool.  It pretty much sums up where they went wrong - that and the frequent appearance of up to three different synthesizers (and sometimes an electric organ) on an individual track.

2. Don't let someone who is not the primary songwriter pen a third of the songs on your LP.
When it came to songwriting, John Entwistle was a phenomenal bass player.  He thanks Roger and Pete in the liner notes for help with subject matter and lyrics.  That's sad because they still didn't turn out well.  Of course, Townsend's lyrics weren't particularly stellar this go around either - "Any soul can sleep, few can die.  Any wimp can weep, few can cry."

3. Don't assume you can coast on bombast and musicianship.
Those elements don't mean anything if you don't have interesting lyrics, engaging melodies or anything resembling a hook.  It just means you wrote a song; you didn't necessarily write a good or interesting one.  "It's Hard" is full of songs.  And it probably shouldn't be.  Which leads us to...

4. Don't automatically think you have to make a full length release.
I talked about this some in the premise for Revisiting Vinyl - the notion of have a good tune or two and then loading them onto an LP with a bunch of crap for whatever reason at whoever's request.  The LP is a great format and it can be used to great effect, but it's not the only format and it's not always the best choice.  Sometimes you just don't have that much to say, which is why there are EPs and singles.  I really think "single" would have been the best way to go here.  Eminence Front is fantastic.  It's big and cinematic and it feels like it swallowed every good hook they had at the time.  It's like a Baba O'Riley for a new generation.  You could throw in the title track as the b-side and every interesting moment of "It's Hard" would be covered.  Unfortunately, that's not what happened, and as a listener you find yourself agreeing with one of Pete's "It's Hard" lyrics: "Why'd I fall for that crap?"

So, is it an album?  No.  There is no apparent thought process in many of the songs individually, much less across the entire LP.

Up next, we go back to Simon & Garfunkel with "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

"Metal Heart" by Accept (1985)

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My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

"Metal Heart" was made in 1985 and it couldn't be more apparent.  That's not automatically a bad thing.  Most discussions of music from that era are built around either cheese or nostalgia.  However, there was also something magical happening during that time with the mainstreamization of hard rock and the reimagination of heavy metal.  Those significant events tend to get overlooked because of all the smash-and-grab groups that piled on and broke the axles of the hair metal bandwagon.  But for serious artists who were in it for the long haul, the landscape was changing in amazing ways and more and more doors were opening and the fans reaped the benefits.  After Judas Priest, Accept is one of the best examples of just that.

To try and demonstrate this, I'm gonna talk about each of my favorite tracks individually.

The Title Track's intro is uber-Wagnerian.  The song proper is ultra-Maidenesque.  The solo is incredible and straight-up Eddie Van Halen.  The whole track is informed by sounds that drove the golden age of heavy metal.  Try to imagine combining all those elements and you'll know without actually hearing the song whether or not you like it.  And that will also be your answer for the LP (and Accept in general).  I happen to really dig it.

Screaming for a Love-Bite is the best song ever about hickies.  It was pitch perfect for its time and still swings a huge set; it should have made Accept a huge pop crossover band.  Basically, it has all the bombast and catchiness of Accept's previous hit, Balls to the Wall, only Screaming for a Love-Bite is about foolin' around instead of social injustice.  Like I said, pitch perfect.

Dogs on Leads on the other hand, has the same topical content of Balls to the Wall, but it forgoes any glossiness or radio appeal in lieu of the anger and spit of true metal.  It's the point where the band unleashes (pun intended) and just gets as down and dirty as they can.  Dogs on Leads wallows in a great way.  It may be the best moment on "Metal Heart."  Okay, it's probably the second best.

Because Bound to Fail soars from the anthemic opening riff and then just seems to get more epic with its manly chorus of "yeah"s and blistering power chords.  "We've just been losing a part to be in another winning team."  But damn, that riff and those Benedictine voices chanting along with it just make you smile.  Bound to Fail pretty much sums up "Metal Heart."  Which leads us to...

So, is it an album?  No.  "Metal Heart" can realy take the strain of all the changes happening around it, but it's still an awful lot of fun.

Up next, the unfortunately appropriately named "It's Hard" by The Who.  Because it's hard.  To listen to.

"Alice Cooper Goes to Hell" by Alice Cooper (1976)

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Don't bother.  Seriously, don't bother unless you like watching train wrecks happen.

I knew I was in trouble when the second track was straight-up disco without a punchline.  Basically, "Alice Cooper Goes to Hell" is an exercise in "Alice sings a song in the style of [insert genre Alice Cooper fans don't like here]."  Given that this was recorded at the point in Alice's life where his personal vices damn near killed him, I can see how he got off track.  But veteran producer Bob Ezrin should have known better.  All I can figure is that he must have been high from the fumes Alice was giving off.  I took a lot of notes for this record, but they don't matter here at all.  All you need to know are these two things: (1) Alice Cooper can sound an awful lot like Weird Al (vocally and lyrically) if he's not paying attention and (2) most of the songs from "Alice Cooper Goes to Hell" sound like they should've been recorded by The Carpenters.  If Alice isn't gonna bother, then neither am I.  Instead, go listen to the infinitely superior "Billion Dollar Babies."  I had a lot to say about that one.

So, is it an album?  No.  The liner notes relate a really interesting premise behind the LP.  Unfortunately, the songs never bother to explore (or even acknowledge) that premise, except for a few random lines.  "Alice Cooper Goes to Hell" is a concept album without a concept.  Or an album.

Up next, we finally get some true metal!  It's "Metal Heart" by Accept.

"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John (1973)

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Obtained via: purchase at an outdoor flea market.

When I discussed "Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only the Piano Player," I described it as "waiting."  What it was waiting for followed right on its heels with the double album "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," and Elton John would spend the rest of his career until "The Lion King" trying to rebottle the lightning it spawned.  Let's break it down...

SIDE I

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Average (2/4 stars)
Key Track: There's a reason Candle in the Wind charted in three different decades
Weak Link: You could go with the overblown drudgy intro Funeral for a Friend, or with Bennie and the Jets - I've never understood the appeal of that song
Sounds Like: rock excess

SIDE II

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)
Key Track: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road sums up the attitude and ideology of all four sides
Weak Link: Jamaica Jerk-OffSounds Like: the morning after a night of rock excess

SIDE III

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)
Key Track: The Ballad of Danny Bailey - who doesn't love a good gangster story?
Weak Link: [none]
Sounds Like: a trashy pulp novel - of course this is my favorite side

SIDE IV

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)
Key Track: Roy Rogers is an amazing song
Weak Link: Harmony feels really out of place
Sounds Like: typical seventies nostalgia for the fifties

So, is it a double-album?  Yes.  It has the massive scope of sounds and subject matter that you would expect from a double album, but it also has something more.  "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" is a heavy theme album.  Bernie Taupin's lyrics often deal with the notion of migrating from a simpler lifestyle to one of urbanization or fame or what-have-you.  On this LP, almost every song explicitly deals with the cost of that migration.  Sweet Painted Lady is probably the best example.  In that track, the idea is conceited via romanticized prostitution because everything about "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" is also heavily romanticized.  That makes for a singular combination.

Up next, we revisit another artist we've already discussed (and struggled with), it's "Alice Cooper Goes to Hell."

"Waiting for Columbus" by Little Feat (1978)

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Filed between: Dennis Linde and Lobo.

I have never understood modern country's claim to Little Feat - from The Dixie Chicks lifting their name off the band's biggest song to Garth Brooks' completely unnecessary version of Fishin' in the Dark.  Little Feat is not a country band.  Here's how you know that for dead certain - if Van Halen covers you, then you're not country.  (Happy Trails doesn't count.)  Little Feat is unmistakably southern, but it's not at all country.  Truth is, they're funky as hell.

"Waiting for Columbus" opens with an insistent wah pedal.  There's slap bass and groove everywhere.  They even have the legendary Tower of Power horn section playing with them.  Not to mention the fact that their songs are almost always very overtly about drug use or sex.

Like I said, funky as hell.  Granted, their studio tracks don't always sound this way, but I think "Waiting for Columbus" is a good reflection of the true spirit of the band.  I'll have to turn in my rebel flag decal for this comment, but I really think that Little Feat is the band Ronnie Van Zant secretly wished he had been in.

SIDE I:
My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

Key Track: Fat Man in the Bathtub.

Sounds like: straight-up funk and boogie chillun' blues.  "There's a fat man in the bathtub with the blues."  What else do you need to know?

SIDE II:
My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Key Track: Spanish Moon is exactly what I want from low brass in a post-sixties song.

Sounds like: SIDE I fused with The Grateful Dead.  SIDE II is that side that pops up on every double live LP and it is consistently my least favorite.  I call it "the jammy side."  The jammy side is awesome when you are actually at a show, but it is much less effective on record.

SIDE III:
My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

Key Track: Dixie Chicken and its solos by everybody.  I particularly like the Joe Walshy guitar solo.

Sounds like: lowdown honkytonk with horns and some weird organ effects.  SIDE III starts the encore.  Matter of fact, half of "Waiting for Columbus" is the damn encore.  Here they totally reinvent Dixie Chicken live while keeping it distinctly the same song.  Bob Dylan and Billy Corgan should take notes.

SIDE IV:
My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Key Track: Don't make me choose between Willin' and A Apolitical Blues.

Sounds like: pure stoner delight.  With tracks like Willin' and Don't Bogart that Joint, there's really nothing else to call it.  SIDE IV is the second encore.  This is where the band forgets everything else and just cuts loose and has a good time.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  To put it simply, "Waiting for Columbus" is a great journey road trip.

Up next, our third double album in a row - it's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John.

"Strangers in the Night" by UFO (1979)

Check out the cool cover design by Hipgnosis!

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Fun Fact: After a little thinking and a little research, I realized that the Sonny James record that came up was a
greatest hits compilation, so we've moved on to a double live album by a prehistoric hard rock band.

Filed between: Bonnie Tyler and Uriah Heep


SIDE I:

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

Key Track:
Out in the Street wins.  However, props to the Styxish rocker Only You Can Rock Me and the super-chunky and nasty Doctor Doctor.

Sounds like: big, anthemic music.  It's a great way to kick of a live record.


SIDE II:

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

Key Track:
Mother Mary.  Again, props as well to the power ballad Love to Love.

Sounds like: well-executed, authentic hard rock.  Sammy Hagar was definitely somewhere taking notes.


SIDE III:

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Above Average (2.5/4 stars)

Key Track:
Lights out.  This one's pretty easy 'cause there are only two songs on SIDE III.

Sounds like: seventies self-gratification and self-aggrandizing.  Two songs!  And this was clearly how they ended their regular set.


SIDE IV:

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/4 stars)

Key Track:
[meh]

Sounds like: standard seventies rock fare, which makes sense because this side is the encore showcasing UFO's approximation of hits.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  I'm not a huge UFO fan, but the live recordings bring out a much thicker sound than they get in the studio.  "Strangers in the Night" shows how live records can be used to great effect.    To be honest, sides I and II make me want to delve into a deeper exploration.  Of course, sides III and IV remind me that UFO often slips into a somewhat generic mold which I find to be a little tedious, so maybe not.

Up next, another double live album, but in a very different vein.  This time it's "Waiting for Columbus" by Little Feat.

"All the Girls in the World Beware!!!" by Grand Funk Railroad (1974)

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Filed between: Goose Creek Symphony and Eddy Grant

Fun Fact:
This gets my vote for one of the worst major label album covers of all time

Obvious filler & Swings-and-Misses:
It's like they wanted to lead the LP off with the two worst tracks - Responsibilty and Runnin'...

Key Tracks:
...And it's like they were just killing time until they got to the last two tracks - Bad Time and Some Kind of Wonderful.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/4 stars)

Unless you remember them coming onto the scene, it's almost impossible to recall your first memory of a musical artist, what with all the radio and video and so on - especially one so ubiquitous to classic rock as Grand Funk.  I can honestly say that this is one of the bands that predates my memory, but I still remember exactly when they popped up on my radar.

I wish I could tell you that it was that awesome Simpsons Lalapalooza episode where Homer breaks down the members of the band in exquisite fashion, but that's not the case.

It has to do with the very small town I grew up in.  How small was it?  I'm glad you asked.  There were only three radio stations that came in: the adult contemporary station, the pop station and the classic country station.  Cable TV didn't come around until I was ten.  So, you listened to what you knew and you took what you could get.  We didn't have a record store; we didn't even have department store at the time.  What we did have was, for all intents and purposes, a general store.  In retrospect, it had a phenomenal music selection (all on cassette, of course), especially when it came to heavy metal and classic rock.

I bought lots of tapes there.  One of which was a one-band-per-side compliation.  I had bought it for the A-side - Bachman-Turner Overdrive.  BTO had wandered across my radar and I knew I liked their sound.  Basically, I knew I liked Let It Ride and You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet, so I bought this tape.  On the flipside was America's answer to BTO - Grand Funk Railroad.  For the most part, I thought it was okay but pretty much standard, forgettable four-man rock.  At that time, I was unaware that We're an American Band was supposed to be an anthem.

But there was one song that dug its hooks deep into me.  It sounded like Beatles-via-seventies-pop and that was something I was really into.  (Blame it on the adult contemporary station.)  The song was called Bad Time and it spoke to me for reasons I still can't really articulate.  I loved that song then, and I still love hearing it now.  It was only a minor hit, especially when stuffed onto the same LP as Some Kind of Wonderful, but it was MY song and it connected me to something great about music.

Years later, I saw Mark Farner play live.  And when he started singing the intro to Bad Time, I was immediately transported back to something that wasn't a record store and a vibe I have never been able to shake.

So, is it an album?  No.  Sadly, it's just a collection of songs.

Up next, we go country again with "Young Love" by Sonny James.

"Exit 0" by Steve Earle & The Dukes (1987)

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Filed between: The Eagles and Earth, Wind & Fire

Obtained via: my mother-in-law bought it for me

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
REQUIRED LISTENING (4/4 stars).  Seriously, if you haven't heard every song on this record, you owe it to yourself to check them out.

Key Tracks:
Like I just said, they're all great.  I'll try to pick the best of the best.  Nowhere Road is what I deeply wish mainstream country had become.  Speaking of which, No. 29!  Take that Kenny Chesney and Billy Ray Cyrus - THAT'S how you do a football song!  I bet within five minutes of hearing The Rain Came Down, John Mellencamp kicked himself hard for not writing it.  I Ain't Ever Satisfied is one of those songs that just resonates with me.  By the way, in a weird twist (or perhaps an act of outright theft), The Gin Blossoms also have a rather good song with the exact same melody as I Ain't Ever Satisfied titled... 29.  (Yeah, it's looking more like outright theft.)  And then there's Angry Young Man with the line "I gotta live like I please or die tryin'."  That pretty much sums up Steve Earle the man and explains why I love his music so much.

To put it another way, one can never overstate the importance of Steve Earle.

The man is a singular mix of elements.  He lived Outlaw Country (moreso even than the characters in most Outlaw Country songs) before he released his first record.  There is a wold-weariness of the informed in his music.  He has a sweeping lyrical style akin to Springsteen.  Come to think of it, "Exit 0" feels an awful lot like "The River."  In my book, that's a big compliment.  He has a great knack for characterization.  And he has an ear for what makes a great tune; this last item being his inroad to his mainstream success.  But then he obliterated his mainstream ties by going to prison - real prison.  He may have lost his mainstream appeal, but he gained something far more valuable.  Credibility.

Hank Jr. goes to bed every night wishing he was Steve Earle.  Even when he's playing with distorted guitars or using a DJ, Steve is always what country music should be.  And often, he is one hundred and eighty degrees opposite of what it actually is at the time.  That's because country hasn't been country for about forty-five years.  And so, Steve Earle has never really been a "country" artist; he's just happened to write some songs that appeal to "country" fans.

When you add all of this up, something becomes clear - Steve Earle (along with The Byrds and R.E.M.) was seminal in the formation of what is now known as insurgent country.  Lots of acts get heaped into the genre nowadays - if you've got a twang and you're not on CMT, you're insurgent because now it has become a cool thing unto itself.  Basically, it's country for people who liked country when country was too cool for anybody and pretending it wasn't - or the opposite of whatever crap it was that Barbara Mandrell said.

Just listen to The Week of Living Dangerously and you'll see what I mean.  It's totally country, but the protagonist is way to much of an ass for the song to have any mainstream traction.  He's part of the undesirable element - a demographic Earle has always courted, since he happens to be one himself. 

Like I said, one can never overstate the importance of Steve Earle.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It's angry and it's poppy and there is a laser-precise thought process behind it.

Up next, "All the Girls in the World Beware!" by Grand Funk Railroad.