"Bulletin Board" by The Partridge Family (1973)

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Don't bother.  Seriously, just don't bother.

There was not a single interesting moment musically on this record, so this time around I'm going to talk exclusively about the LP jacket.  Why not?

First, there is a shameless promotional plug right smack on the front that reads "Memo: Our New TV Time!  8 PM SATURDAYS (7 PM Central Time)."  Mind you, this is not a sticker or something attached later; it's actually part of the photograph taken for the cover.  I can't think of a more obvious way of announcing "hey everybody!  This product is completely disposable and will be of no use in six months!"  At least they were honest about it...

Except that they weren't.  The cover collage also includes a photo of the actors from The Partridge Family TV show, even though none of them play a single instrument on this LP.  If you look closely, it does clarify "Starring Shirley Jones * Featuring David Cassidy," so they're at least acknowledging that neither that dreamy Susan Dey nor that dreamier Danny Bonaducci appear anywhere other than in that goofy family portrait.  But that statement is also a big ol' load of crap.  The starring/featuring bill was true for the show, but when they bring it over the the LP it's just not accurate.  David Cassidy is featured alright, he sings the lead vocal on EVERY SINGLE SONG.  And there are only three moments on the the entire thing when you can even tell that the backup singer is actually "star" Shirley Jones.

But I suppose my expectations are too high for a creative project that sounds like it was titled at the last minute by a frantic record exec, rattling off the first office supply he saw hanging on the wall.  Ah, if only that were true... However, the back of the jacket shows that it was actually a creative decision strung over several years.  The other PF LPs are listed there with titles like (I am NOT making this up): "Crossword Puzzle," "Notebook" and "Shopping Bag."  I haven't looked into what records they released after this, but I think I can make a pretty acurate guess.  Next, they entered their experimental phase with "Water Cooler."  After that came the poorly received double LP "Pencil Sharpener / Tape Dispenser."  Then they rebounded with their magnum opus "Stapler!"  Personally, I think "Trash Can" would have been a much more appropriate title.

On a positive note, the cover art is a realistic portrayal of a bulletin board, so points for that!

So, is it an album?  No.  I just told you, it's a bulletin board.

Up next, we get some sexy R&B talk-singing with "All Things in Time" by Lou Rawls. 

"A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean" by Jimmy Buffett (1973)

 

“Some of it’s magic and some of it’s tragic.”

 

Songs That Also Appear on the Greatest Hits LP “Songs You Know by Heart”:

He Went to Paris, Grapefruit – Juicy Fruit, Why Don’t We Get Drunk

 

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:

Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

 

“A White Sport Coat…” plays like a perfect storm of the country-folk-singer-songwriter scene that was exploding at the time it came out.  And it all seems very much by Jimmy Buffett’s design.

 

For starters, he surrounds himself with some heavy hitters in the genre.  He co-wrote one of the tracks with Jerry Jeff “Mr. Bojangles” Walker.  Also, Steve “City of New Orleans” Goodman plays in Jimmy’s backup band, The Coral Reefers.  And so does fiddlist extraordinaire, Vassar “I did that cool stuff on ‘Will the Circle Be Unbroken’” Clements.

 

And on this release, Buffett tends to write songs in the idiosyncratic style of his contemporaries – one track at a time.  I triple-checked the authorship of Peanut Butter Conspiracy to make sure Tom T. Hall hadn’t actually written it.  I Have Found Me a Home sounds like a John Denver tune.  Death of an Unpopular Poet is a great imitation of  Jim Croce at his best.  And there are smatterings of John Prine throughout.

 

But then there is He Went to Paris.

 

That song is 100% Jimmy Buffett.  And it’s one of the best examples of why his fan base is so ravenous.  It’s set (partially) in the islands.  There’s booze.  It’s got a healthy dose of homespun folk wisdom without coming across as disingenuous.  And somehow, it has no pretenses or pretentions whatsoever.  Yeah, He Went to Paris is a great song.

 

So, is it an album?  Yes.  Although the quality and style of the songwriting vary greatly, the sound, attitude and ideas never waver.

 

Up next, we stay in 1973 with “Bulletin Board” by The Partridge Family.

"Songs in the Key of Life" by Stevie Wonder (1976)

 

Editorial Note: The “bonus record” was not spun for this entry.

 

Fun Fact #1: I know he’s blind, but the cover art for this LP looks like a picture taken during a colonoscopy.

 

Fun Fact #2: In what has to be the goofiest beef in the history of music, Coolio got mad at Weird Al for ripping off one of his songs that Coolio himself ripped off from “Songs in the Key of Life.”  For the record, Pastime Paradise is phenomenally better than Gangsta’s Paradise.  And so is Amish Paradise.

 

SIDE I

“Music is a world within itself with a language we all understand.”

Key Tracks: Have a Talk with God and Sir Duke

Rating: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Kicks Off With: Soulful vocal oohs.

Sounds Like: The Gospel according to Stevie – what’s important to him is 100% in the forefront.  Sir Duke plays like a horn-soaked mission statement.

 

SIDE II

“Smokin’ cigarettes and writin’ something nasty on the wall.”

Key Tracks: I Wish and Pastime Paradise

Rating: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Kicks Off With: A thumpin’ funky bass line

Sounds Like: The ghetto according to Stevie – and also romance.  It’s really hard to reconcile those two concepts.  He paints a raggedly vivid picture of the first and a hackneyed, on-a-pedestal version of the second.

 

SIDE III

“You’ve brought some joy inside my tears.”

Key Track: Isn’t She Lovely

Rating: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Kicks Off With: A baby crying

Sounds Like: A continued contradiction, but with a harmonica – finally!  A harmonica in Stevie Wonder’s hands is a declaration of pure joy.  Too bad he doesn’t keep that up here…

 

SIDE IV

“It fills you up without a bite and quenches every thirst.”

Key Track: As

Rating: Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)
Sounds Like: A message of hope.  There’s nothing more I could say about that.

 

So, is it a double album?  Yes.  “Songs in the Key of Life” is an archetypal double album in the classic “White Album” sense.  It jumps across a dozen genres, twisting on the whim of an artist who can’t be pigeonholed. 

 

Up next, Jimmy Buffett in country mode is a lot of fun, especially when it’s “A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean.”

"Second Album" by The Four Tops (1965)

“It’s the same old song, but with a different meaning…”

 

Soul Classics on This LP:I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) and It’s the Same Old Song

 

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:

HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

 

When I was a kid, it seemed like my family was always on its way to somewhere.  The car was our temple and the radio was our swinging censer of jasmine.  And Solid Gold Saturday night was a weekly ritual.  It hooked me on oldies and exposed me to a lot of really good and really diverse music.  My education was so thorough that I can still remember the show’s jingle and call-in number.  It’s going strong these days with the original DJ, Mike Harvey – only now it’s called Super Gold and they play way too much disco.  I have nothing against disco, but for me, “oldies” music stops dead in 1974.

 

My dad also kept about 20 eight tracks (and later, cassettes) in the car at all times, in case the radio hit a streak of songs he didn’t like or we drove out of reception – this was always a possibility in our particularly rural neck of Eastern Kentucky.  When I was about six, I latched on to a couple in particular.  My request was always for Sam Cooke’s Greatest Hits, the one with the yellow and black cover.  Being a big Sam Cooke fan, but also growing tired of playing the same thing over and over, Dad introduced me to similar music he thought I might like. 

 

And so, between Solid Gold Saturday Night and my father’s music collection, an undying love for soul music was born.  And it grew.

 

One of my first music purchases was a cassette with the best of The Four Tops on one side and the best of The Temptations on the other.  I played that thing until it broke.  For a long time though, I couldn’t distinguish between the two groups, since they were mingled together on the same tape (I had a similar problem with BTO and Grand Funk Railroad).  But now, there’s no comparison whatsoever.  The Temptations had some great songs, but not nearly as many as The Four Tops.  Also, The Four Tops tie The Beach Boys in my book for best, most consistent use of the baritone saxophone ever.

 

Like I said before, I love this type of music.  There’s just something… primordial going on in those early Motown records and their ilk – you can’t not be moved by them.  It’s like they took the blues and infused them with a spark of hope, even in the most hopeless of songs.  That’s an impossible, yet impeccable equation.  And nobody has ever been able to recreate it.  Nobody has ever even come close.

 

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It’s tight, it’s focused and it’s guaranteed to make you smile.

 

Up next, we stay in our R&B vein with Stevie Wonder’s double-album opus, “Songs in the Key of Life.”

"Denim and Leather" by Saxon (1981)

Be Forewarned: This will be a heavy-metal geek-out entry.

 

“Where were you in ’79 when the dam began to burst?”

 

Personal Favorites:

And the Bands Played On and Denim and Leather are both phenomenal songs about the emergence of heavy metal in the popular consciousness.  Play it Loud is about playing it loud and is also amazing.

 

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:

REQUIRED LISTENING (4/4 stars).  Seriously, if you like any type of remotely heavy music and you haven’t heard this LP, you are really missing out.

 

The LP’s lyrics make references to several bands, including Deep Purple, Rainbow and UFO.  And those influences are apparent all over “Denim and Leather.”  It has Ritchie Blackmore guitar sensibilities and shares UFO’s acumen for crafting radio-friendly heavy music.  And that blending is what set Saxon and their contemporaries apart and got the world’s attention. 

 

I have mentioned before that fellow NWOBHM band Iron Maiden is a great starting point for a journey into heavy metal.  Saxon also works well in this capacity for the same reasons.  First, their songs are full of great hooks; you can’t go wrong with great hooks. Secondly, they are readily accessible the first time you hear them.  That’s a big deal and it’s something that none of their metal predecessors (like Sabbath) were ever able to boast.  Also, they teeter right on the precipice between hard rock and heavy metal, making them an easier pill for many to swallow, as opposed to a group like Venom that was much heavier and a precursor thrash and death metal.

 

Let me clarify that last statement.  I have very specific criteria for what I myself consider to be heavy metal music as opposed to hard rock.  I love both genres, but I do think there’s a clear distinction.  Led Zeppelin is not heavy metal.  Deep Purple (or any other Blackmore project) is not heavy metal.  Kiss and AC/DC are not heavy metal.  Those are all hard rock.  Which is great, I love hard rock too.  But for me, metal crosses into something that is continually thicker and darker; metal lurks in the fringes and shadows.  It’s not even about the sound, it’s about the attitude.  All of the bands I just listed made songs with that attitude, but it was never a consistent (or even regular) thing for any of them.

 

Saxon has both feet firmly on the metal side, but the band is clearly still looking back across the chasm.  And it makes for some great music.

 

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It flat out rocks from stem to stern.

 

Up next, we finally get back into the R&B world with the second album by The Four Tops, creatively titled “Second Album.”

"All American Boy" by Rick Derringer (1973)

Fun Fact:
Per the liner notes, there is a thing called a hair-drum... and Rick Derringer knows how to play it.

"There's a lotta sexy girls out there and I've got a built-in cosmic need for a TEENAGE LOVE AFFAIR."

Rock-and-Roll-Hoochie-Classic:
Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo

Song That Makes My Brain Melt and Ooze out of My Ear because it Exists:
Hold

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/2 stars)

"All American Boy" sounds almost exactly like what you would expect from a one hit wonder.  Of course it opens with Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo.  After that, there are a few oases of interesting bits scattered  throughout an otherwise choppy and uneven bunch of space fillers.  Oh yeah, and there are songs with titles like The Airport Giveth (The Airport Taketh Away) and Slide on over Slinky  that get devliered without a single drop of irony whatsoever.

Except that...

Joe Walsh shows up and plays on a couple of tracks.  Okay, I get that.  Joe Walsh played on pretty much everybody's stuff in the early seventies.

And Edgar Winter does keys on a few more.  Fair enough.  That crazy albino Texan  probably should have been on more stuff in the early seventies.

And then, of course, Derringer cowrote one of the songs on this LP with Patti Smith.  3... 2.. 1... Wait, what?!  Yes, THAT Patti Smith.  The protopunk icon who did Horses and Gloria also helped pen the most schmaltzy and terrible ballad on this LP (and trust me, that's saying a lot).

Additionally, Toots Thielemans plays harmonica on one number.  I no idea who he is, but with a name like that, he's got to be awesome.

So, is it an album?  No.  As the cover art suggests, "All American Boy" can't decide whether it wants to be rock or pop, so it just keeps bouncing back and forth between the two... except for when it shifts into smooth jazz mode, which it totally does every now and then.

Up next, do you NWOBHM?  Well, you're about to as we explore "Denim and Leather" by Saxon.

"Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits (1985)

Fun Fact:Mark Knopfler writes more songs about people singing songs than anybody I can think of.  There are three in a row on this LP.

"I want my MTV."

Songs You Might Have Heard on the Radio (or seen on MTV) from this LP:So Far Away, Money for Nothing, Walk of Life, Brothers in Arms

"Brothers in Arms" insists on being an eighties album.  At the time it was released, it was resolvedly grounded absolutely in its time.  When people think about the big hits from this LP, they think of the technology of the time.  I want to point at right here and now that there's a helluva lot more going on here than just Reagonomics and Max Headroom.

But it seems Dires Straits doesn't want us to think about that because they (or somebody, but Mark Knopfler is the first producer listed) force fed it to us when "Brothers in Arms" came out.

The best example and worst offender here is Walk of Life.  What's the first thing you think of when I mention that song?  Okay, now what's the second?  I don't know the order, but I'll bet good money that the two answers were: that opening synth riff and that great, iconic video.  And I have to admit, they both hooked me and reeled me in every time it came on the tube.  Let's face it, sports bloopers were awesome in the days before "America's Funniest Home Videos," and that's just one of those primordial sequences of notes that grabs you.

But here's the thing -- all of the technology overshadows some other (really great) aspects of that song.  For starters, it's an infectious twelve-bar guitar shuffle.  It also has some incredible lyrics.  For your reading enjoyment: "after all the violence and double talk, there's just a song in all the trouble and the strife."  See what I mean?  I have sung that line probably over a hundred times, but I had never processed it until I read it in the liner notes today -- and all because of that infectious keyboard melody.

So I do have to concede that all that tech makes for a really fun experience.

Still, The Man's Too Strong never had a video and it doesn't have much at all in the way of synths, but it does have TWO VERY ANGRY GUITARS.  And it's hands down my favorite cut.  You should go listen to it right now.  I'll wait.  Yeah, you can't beat The Man's Too Strong.

...until you get to Brothers in Arms.  And it turns out to be an astounding marriage of guitars and keyboards -- registering a whopping 9.2 Pinks on the Floyd scale.  Each instrument elevates and amplifies the other, until they pierce your soul in beauteous rapture.  Brothers in Arms is a phenomenal song, and it's not even about people who sing songs.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  Say what you want about the synths (and the sax -- a sax can damn near ruin a song in a sixteenth note), but this thing is clearly one man's vision.

Up next, we check out a one-hit rocker from the seventies.  It's "All American Boy" by Rick Derringer.  Something tells me it'll be heavy on the Rock & Roll, Hoochie Koo...