"Don't Look Back" by Boston (1978)

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"It's a new horizon and I'm awaking now."

Key Tracks:
Don't Look Back is everything that's great about classic rock.  So is Feelin' Satisfied. It should've been just as big of a hit.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

"Don't Look Back" is a sophomore effort that delivers the inverse result of BTO's "II."  Where "II" was hurried, frazzled and disconnected, "DLB" was given time to gel.  Boston actually took a few years after their first mammoth release.  They took so much time that their label eventually released this second LP before the band was done with it.  Surprisingly, the results weren't at all bad.

But time's not the only issue at work.  Brad Delp's vocal range is amazing.  Tom Scholz is a guitar player's guitarist.  How amazing?  Well, lemme tell ya.  There are what sound like some pretty interesting, proggy keyboard solos on this record.  But then when you read the liner notes, you see the statement "No synthesizers used / no computers used" and you realize that all those solos are done on a guitar.  And then you have to immediately lift the needle and play it back again in disbelief.  BTO had some talent, but they didn't have Boston talent. 

So, room to breathe and superior musicianship lead (astonishingly) to a superior product - at least in this case.  There are also examples of the opposite.  Anybody heard "Chinese Democracy"?

So, is it an album?  Yes.  There is a singular sound to the vocals, the guitar and the narrative voice.  That absolutely makes for an album in my book.

Up next - okay, I get the point!  We're still hard and heavy into jock rock, only this time we get real synths (instead of... um... fake ones?).  It's "Two for the Show," a double live release by Kansas.

"II" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive (1973)

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"I love to work at nothin' all day."

Key Tracks Good Songs:
Blown, Let It Ride, Takin' Care of Business

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
Everything else

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Average (2/4 stars)

"Sophomore slump" doesn't begin to describe BTo's second release.  There was either a dearth of creativity here or no editorial process whatsoever. It sounds like every idea anybody had got thrown into the mix without regard for whether it fit in or worked. 

The best example is Welcome Home.  The verses sound like bad Steely Dan.  The choruses sound like bad Black Sabbath.  The outro is a bad impersonation of dixieland jazz using electric guitars.  The song works out exactly as well as it looks on paper. 

Every member of the band wrote separate pieces for "II."  And apparently, whoever wrote it sang it because there are three different singers on it's paltry eight tracks.

Really though, none of that is surprising.  BTO put out their first five LPs over the course of three years.  That's a lot of music, and evidence of a monumental difference in the musical landscape of forty years ago.  These days, you won't see three releases over the course of five years from a given artist (not counting re-released "bonus" editions with only one or two new tracks).

But BTO's business plan clearly worked.  "II" went platinum on the strength of two songs.  They must have known what they had with Let It Ride and/or Takin' Care of Business and just phoned in everything else.

So, is it an album?  No.  This is a prime example of just killing time for half an hour because an LP sells for more than a really good double-sided single.

Up next, we continue with the seventies power-rock and check out "Don't Look Back" by Boston.

"Come Out and Play" by Twisted Sister (1985)

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Filed Between: Stanley Turrentine and Bonnie Tyler

"Do you take this music to be your lawfully wedded rock?"

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Don't bother.  Seriously, don't bother (unless you need a good laugh).

The liner notes are emblazoned with the following gigantic, all-caps text: "PLAY IT LOUD, MUTHA!"  And that's about as subtle as "Come Out and Play" gets.  If Alice Cooper were from New Jersey and had been kicked in the head by a mule as a child, he would be Dee Snider.

Speaking of...

Twisted Sister and their label apparently felt very strongly about Be Crool to Your Schuel (it was a single) - so strongly in fact that they recruited these people to play on it: Alice Cooper - backing vocals, Brian Setzer - guitar, Billy Joel - piano, Clarence Clemons - sax.  Are you shitting me?!  Little Steven didn't have that many stars singing on Sun City.  And the truly sad thing is, it's a terrible, terrible song.  They were clearly expecting another We're Not Gonna Take It; they made something that gets put in paper bags on front porches and set on fire.

Speaking of...

"Come Out and Play" also contains what has to be the most bizarre, confused cover song of all time.  IF John Mayer decided to remake I Kissed a Girl, it wouldn't be half as absurd as Sister's version of Leader of the Pack.  Yes, THAT Leader of the Pack.  Only since they're dudes (I think), they had to flip all the hims and hers around, so now it gets told from the leader of the pack's point of view.  Yes, THAT leader of the pack.  Had they never heard this song before?  Did nobody bother to mention to them that the leader of the pack eats it in a fiery crash and dies before the third verse?  Their solution was to flip it around at that point and make HER die in the crash because SHE's actually the leader of the pack (even though she clearly wasn't for the first two verses).  I'll give you a minute to digest that.  And that's exactly how much sense it makes.  But again, they must have really thought they had lightning in a bottle here because this was yet another single.

Speaking of...

Everything on "Come Out and Play" reeks of confusion and self-denial of Ed Wood proportions.  Most of the choruses are a single line that repeats over and over to varying degrees.  The lyric sheet describes these repetitions as ranging from "a lot" to "forever."  There's never one relevant thing said, but it's all delivered like it's new Gospel.

The sad thing is, Dee Snider clearly had a lot to say at this point.  "Come Out and Play" was released after his famous battle with the PMRC which culminated in a speech to a congressional subcommittee where he talked about the importance of artistic freedom and the pitfalls of personal interpretation of the works of others.  (Those concepts alone are far more interesting and intelligent than any moment on this LP.)  But "Come Out and Play" never hits on any of that - except for maybe the inane and virtually incomprehensible I Believe in Rock 'n Roll and the (misleading) warning on the back label that indicates the record has been rated "H" for humorous content.

So, is it an album?  No.  It's a mess.

Up next, we check an LP titled "II" that's NOT by Led Zeppelin.  Dang.  Instead, we let it ride with Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

"Centerfield" by John Fogerty (1985)

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"The dream was a song."

Key Tracks:
The Old Man Down the Road oozes unspoken menace.  I Saw It on T.V. is the song We Didn't Start the Fire aspired to be.  Centerfield TOTALLY rips off La Bamba, but it doesn't matter because it makes baseball seem interesting for four minutes.

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
I completely understand why Mr. Greed had to get written.  I just wish it hadn't been included here.  Searchlight is a great idea for a song, but it just doesn't quite get there.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

Here are some interesting facts about "Centerfield":

It's the only time I know of when an artist got sued for plagiarizing himself.

I know this particular copy is an early one because the last track is titled Zanz Kant Danz.  Later versions were changed to "Vanz" after Fogerty got sued (again) by his former manager Saul Zantz.

John Fogerty doesn't get nearly enough credit as a guitar player.

In tiny font, tucked away in the bottom corner of the back cover, is the following, seemingly innocuous, statement: "Also available on cassette and compact disc."

Seriously, John Fogerty doesn't get nearly enough credit as a guitar player.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  "Centerfield" is clearly the work of a man reflecting back over his life, warts and all.  Some of it is happy; some of it is incredibly pissed off.  Some of the reflections are explicitly stated throughout the course of a song; others are subtly woven in via a lyrical phrase or an appropriated guitar riff.  It begins with a meditation on death and ends with a vitriolic rant (but it's a very singalong-able rant); it is strewn with deep wells of hope and joy.  I think I'm going to go a step further and call "Centerfield" a theme album.

Up next, we get our third LP in a row from 1985.  This time, it's "Come Out and Play" by Twisted Sister.  No, that song's not on this record.  Neither is that other song.

"Heart" by Heart (1985)

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Filed Between: Isaac Hayes and the soundtrack from "Heavy Metal"

"I can't sell you what you don't want to buy."

Key Tracks Mega Hits:
If Looks Could Kill, What about Love, Never, These Dreams, Nothin' at All

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
None, really.  Nobody Home is too long and kind of average, but that's about it.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
HIGHLY Recommended (3.5/4 stars)

Heart has always had a very unique talent (aside from Ann's monster of a voice and Nancy's monster guitar playing) - they are experts at blending a hard rock mentality with top forty sensibilities.  On "Heart," they update their classic rock sound for the hair metal generation.  The results are outstanding.

Just look at the list of hits this LP produced.  Odds are, if you have ever been a fan of pop music, you like more than one of those songs.  What about Love can hold its own against pretty much any other power ballad.  If Looks Could Kill rocks, plain and simple.  Oh yeah, and there's also These Dreams.  And Never.  And... you get the idea.

And you can hear it in the sound.  That attitude is stitched throughout all of "Heart."  They were swinging for the fences with this one and it paid off.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  There is a clear agenda here.

Up next, we stay in the mid-eighties pop rock zone with "Centerfield" by John Fogerty.

"Talking Book" by Stevie Wonder (1972)

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Filed between: Edgar Winter and Frankie Yankovic

"Keep me in a daydream.  Keep me going strong."

Key Track:
Superstition

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:
You and I (We Can Conquer the World), You've Got It Bad Girl, Lookin' for Another Pure Love

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:
Above Average (2.5/4 stars)

There are two very distinct Stevie Wonders present on "Talking Book."  In fact, they seem to be the two Stevie Wonders who appear on every LP he's done since "Signed Sealed & Delivered."  But it's really obvious here.

One is the make-your-hips-swing-low funkmaster organist who puts your booty in a stranglehold and won't let go.  Whenever somebody asks me what funk sounds like, I play Superstition for them.  Even now, when it comes on during those lame beer commercials, I know I'll be bobbing my head for the next thirty seconds.  That Stevie Wonder rules.

The other Stevie Wonder?  Not so much.  It's the schmaltzy, schlocky pop balladeer who cuts songs that are instantaneously dated the moment they're made; It's the Stevie Wonder who writes lyrics like "where is my spirit?  I'm nowhere near it;" it's the Stevie Wonder who uses the bossa nova beat on the drum machine.

That's right, I'm talking about You Are the Sunshine of My Life.  Okay, we better slow down a bit.  Before you get all hot and bothered about me dissing that song, remind yourself of the nostalgia filter.  And then, go back and relisten to it - try to do so without thinking of a velvet airport lounge circa 1975.  Pay attention to the lyrics - note how they sound like a high school freshman's love poetry.  I'm not saying the song is without merit, I'm just saying it gets kind of... ugh.

And I will concede that there is sometimes a third Stevie Wonder - the jazz homage guy whose song quality varies wildly.

In "High Fidelity," Jack Black's character asks the following question specifically about Stevie Wonder: "Is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins?"  Personally, I don't think that's a fair question. 
I think Stevie Wonder was consistent throughout his career when it came to... ugh.  We just kept the nostalgia filter turned on and he stopped doing the funky stuff.

So, is it an album?  No.  Let's just leave it at that.

Up next, Heart's self-titled juggernaut of a comeback.

"Freeze-Frame" by J. Geils Band (1981)

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Filed between: Crystal Gayle and Genesis

Obtained via: an impulsive drive out of town on a sunny day

"She never had dreams so they never came true."

Key Tracks:Centerfold and Angel in Blue

Obvious Filler & Swings-and-Misses:I really want to like River Blindness, but it's just too uneven and too long to let me.

My Overall Rating of the Tracks Separately:Recommended Listening (3/4 stars)

"Freeze-Frame" is a good LP; it has a lot of merit.  However, I'm only going to talk about one song on the record, and I'll bet you already know which song it is.

Centerfold may be the most perfect pop song ever written.  It has about three different hooks that individually could have made the song a hit.  But it doesn't stop there.  There are certain, specific things that appear over and over in those songs that endure in EVERYBODY'S consciousness.  They have to do with an element of easy audience participation.  Any one of these elements can work, but Centerfold piles in as many as it can.  Please see the list below for reference (note that all of these things can be found in Centerfold):

• Somebody yelling something like "let's go!" or "come on!" or something ending with an exclamation point!
• Hand claps (or a percussive approximation of hand claps)
• A yell
• Whistling
• Some variation of repeated nonsense syllables, usually "la la" or "na na"
• Counting
• A catchy chorus that's easy to remember

That last one is important.  Natalie Merchant said that her goal when writing Kind and Generous was to have a chorus that people could sing along with the first time they heard the song - a chorus which ended up being a variation of "la la."  See?  I told you.

So, is it an album?  Yes.  It's decidedly new wave in its sound and it's all written, produced and musically directed by the same individual (NOT J. Geils).

Up next, we listen to some other massive pop hits, but in a totally different genre.  It's "Talking Book" by Stevie Wonder.